Context: been with DP a few years, expecting our first DC soon. Both in our 20s. I have social anxiety and have struggled with depression in the past, come from a family where showing our emotions is 'wrong' so have always had trouble acting normal. DP is an amazing person and never done anything to make me doubt him.
But whenever he wants to go out or do things without me it makes me so anxious - I'm talking like nights out with friends etc. I'd never act on it or tell him not to go because I really don't want to abuse him like that - he'd never stop me from going somewhere if I wanted to. I currently don't work (maternity leave) and he's told me he's going on 3 work trips, plus a 'night out' and staying over at his friend's in the city over the next two months. He always texts me to let me know he's fine and he's not the type to get really drunk, plus he absolutely dotes on me and is wonderful. He doesn't even go out a lot, every few months, if that. But when he does I get so down, I lay in bed crying and panicking he's going to get hurt, lost, attacked, go home with someone else. My anxious brain goes into paranoid overdrive and I HATE it. I feel so clingy and awful.
I would never say any of this to him because he's doing absolutely nothing wrong, I know this is all on me, but how can I stop being like this? I know a lot of it probably relates back to my anxiety but I just can't control it and it makes me feel like a crazy girlfriend. I don't want to be.