Anyone else want to shove a rocket up laid back husband's ass?

[totheseaside]

" Your husband is so laid back, if I was married to him, he would have a real calming effect on me."

"You're so lucky, he's so laid back."

"What a lovely laid back man he is."

"He's hilarious your husband. A real laid back character. So laid back, he's comical."

" I wish I had someone like him."

Genuinely fed up of my husband's fan base, largely made up of my own friends. To live with, it's draining. No decisions get made, no plans get sorted, no problems faced. It all ends up on my shoulders.

I found it calming until DCS came along and I now just want to shove a rocket up his arse. I get no support whatsoever when life is chaotic, I would go so far as to say DH is very apathetic and doesn't appear to care about much at all. He's even laid back when he's crossing the road and I've had to speak to him about dawdling leisurely infront of cars with DC in the pushchair.
Friends love him.
I can't take much more.
just looking for kind friends who can empathise/tell a tale of their own experineces with laid back.men.

Helpful. I'm therefore supposed to accept it and live miserably? Wonderful advice. Thanks.

As I said upthread, I accept it and don't live miserably because I've changed my attitude to it.

How is your dh when you ask him to do something? Doesn't made excuses and not do it or is he happy to do as asked? My dh isn't lazy, just not the same as me. Is yours lazy?

I wouldn't have accepted dh as he is if he were lazy or didn't think he should do anything asked.

Is it fair to expect some one to change their personality ? You chose to marry him knowing what he was like

If someone is competent at work ( where it matters what people think and you get fired if you are useless ) and incompetent at home ( where they don't care about your feelings and people smile indulgently and make excuses when you are useless ) then it's not their Personality.

It's a behaviour. And they do it because it works for them.

" Laid back " is only fun if you are not the one picking up the slack or of you are not inconvenienced by it. Then it's just laziness and manipulation.

You can spot the partners of PA men because they are always 'unreasonably' angry. Outsiders think the woman is too stressed and uptight and the man is a great guy

This.

Imagine you were incompetent in some basic area of life - like doing the laundry.

You mix your colours and whites so your white work unform comes out pink. Your manager comments and your colleagues snigger.

You go on a night out and have nothing clean to wear. You feel scruffy.

Your kids roll their eyes and look embarrassed as you wear grubby clothes to parents evening.

Why would you do ? Here's two options.

1. Learn to use a washing machine and iron

1. Flap you hands and say " gee whizz, all that technology is too much for my simple female brain / I'm too laid back to worry about drudge work, I'll have my servant aka husband do it "

So what, your friends don't live and have a life with him and are not involved in the practical side of life that we all have to shoulder, I don't think you are lucky at all, I think he's a lazy git who is happy to watch you do the bulk of everything; I couldn't be with someone who was happy to let me do this; laid back or not.