do you sometimes think that you have you just settled for Mr Reliable......

[daisey]

someone who will make a good partner and father and who loves you. Rather then somone you are crazy in love with or find incredibly sexy and attractive.I dont know whether ive just settled for my partner whom im marrying in 2mths or whether the way i feel is just a natural progression after being together for 6 years.

Hes a good man who loves me deeply. Hes a great father. Hes a nice guy but sometimes i just think do i love him? Am i just settling for someone who makes a good family man.

Usually not ohsmellyjelly. I'm afraid it's a simple fact that living with the same man day in day out takes a huge amount of the gilt of the gingerbread. My DH is in many ways a wonderful man and a good father (not perhaps Mr Financially Reliable but that's a different issue ) and when we do make love he is a wonderful lover...but do I, as Northener so colourfully put ,'fancy the arse off him'? No I do not. I love him, respect him, trust him implicitly blah blah blah.... And beleive me when we first got together 20 off years ago we were at it like rabbits...and in fact were more or less until the kids came along. Do I miss that? Yes I do a little but the good points outweigh the bad. There are many reasons for getting wed, sex is only one of them.

At the risk of sounding smug, dw and i have been together 6/7 years and still fancy each other like mad. We are equals in every sense, too, though which is a big thing.

Nothing wrong with Mr Reliable! I can rely on him not putting his dirty plates in the dishwasher, rely on him going down the pub for an hour after work on a Friday, rely on him to moan that he's had a hard day, but most of all I can rely on him just to be here for me & dd!

i think you should always listen to that little inner voice as it invariably speaks the truth...if you are not sure that you love him then you shouldnt be getting married imo...could be diastrous later on.

Have had a couple of serious relationships wher i gnored said voice to my peril...they limped on for much longer than they should have done! Have now been with my DH for 10 years (married for 4) and can confirm it is possible to still fancy the pants off a reliable great hubby and dad, so tis possible to have love and lust.

If you are now v. dependent on him could this be more a reflection of you maybe losing some self confidence and that affecting your viewpoint on him/the relationship. Maybe you could do something about this before you get married and see how you feel. If you got a bit of independence back might change the dynamic of your relationship for the better again?? Only a thought...

I am still attracted to my DP and after 8 years the sex has got better but it has never really had to go to the point of fancying the pants off him. I love him, I admire him, I respect him and I adore him.....I can't stand him sometimes though

I still wear the underwear for him and he still tells me I have a lovely body (even though he knows I am not happy with it) which far outweighs lusting after him.

I never felt safe when I lusted my previous exes.....I like feeling safe and secure its definitely the best feeling. Knowing someone loves you no matter how you look first thing on a morning.

i too have mr reliable fab hubby fab dad cleans, cooks, does diy though not passionate in bed and wouldnt know what a date was if it smacked him in the mouth,and to top it off my ex the love of my life who i havnt seen for 12yrs calls me and we are planning to meet in two weeks i guess its my 7yr itch.
sex life with ex was amazing. hubby and i are attending relate. sometimes i wish i was on my own with 12yr old dd and that dh and ds 3yrs would leave ds does not love me and tells me all the time i think he knows i had postnatal depression. sorry i ramble.

Absolutely you do.

Have been with DP for 12 years this year, and we are getting married later this year too.

i was with my exh for 7 years aaaaggghhh the 7 year itch.

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Acting on the little voice is rarely easy though otherwise we none of us would find ourselves in duff situations anyway!

Hope you manage to resolve your situation OSJ so that you feel happier in the long run.

I also think that once you've had a dud bloke (or more than one if you are daft like me), you are more appreciative when a proper gem comes along.

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