Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No contact with my Narcissistic parents

11 replies

mummyjen2 · 06/06/2017 14:03

Anyone who's suffered Narcissistic abuse please help, I've been going no contact with my abusive parents for 3 years now to protect my family but still feel a huge amount of guilt and depression.

Its a long story cut short but I've been raised by an abusive mother who made my life hell. Using abusive languages, running around drunk and naked and then threaten to kill my dad was something we gradually grew up accept (even though it was sick and unacceptable.) Her mind is so twisted she even told me something bad will happen to my unborn child if I'm ever nasty to her. And in her eyes anyone who's been unkind to her will die from a horrible death. I feel like I'm constantly living a life of emotional blackmail and don't want my kids to go through the same thing. She also said my sis-in-law (who was abusive towards my 6yr old son) has the right to smack him if he does something wrong! I was fuming but forgave them and thought maybe its all to do with culture. My husband was mad but was forced to forgive them because of me. The main reason we went completely no contact was because they became aggressive and violent towards my husband infront of my then 6, 4 and 2 year old. But I have no intentions of going no contact indefinitely as the guilt is killing me. As much as there were bad memories there was also some good ones. But my husband who also suffered a fair amount of abuse is threatening to leave me if I do have any form of contact with her. My sister will be marrying in October and she really wants me there but I'm really afraid of going (as my parents will be there) but scared my husband will leave me if I go. He'll see this a betrayal if I somehow make up with my parents. I've just had an arguement with my husband its really affecting my kids. Am I wrong to want contact? Any comments or opinions are very much appreciated. Thanks in advance. :)

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/06/2017 14:52

Hi mummyjen2

Consider very carefully why you want contact at all; if its just to assuage your own guilt here then its really not a good enough reason to restart contact. You seem very much in a FOG state still as it is; you need to break free of the fear, obligation and guilt re them.

Do you think either of your parents here feel any guilt; I doubt that very much so why do you feel guilty at all?. Abusers can be "nice" sometimes but its only on their terms and it never lasts long. Its all part of the nice/nasty cycle of abuse and that is a continuous cycle. This has nothing to do with what culture you grew up in and or nationality; abusers are of all colours and creeds and operate on a power and control basis. This is what abuse is about; power and control. They still want to wield that over you and in turn your own family unit.

I can understand why you are feeling guilt; this along with fear and obligation are some of the main legacies that such toxic abusers like your parents leave their now adult offspring.

No contact however, is precisely that. You need to remain no contact; any contact at all with your parents will put you straight back to square one with your children, you and your H being abused too by them. They were not good parents (understatement) to you after all, these people have not fundamentally altered since your early childhood.

People from dysfunctional families end up playing roles; what is your role here?. You seem like the scapegoat for all their inherent ills with your sister perhaps being more favoured overall. She seems to be enmeshed unhealthily with your parents and she is being unfair by asking you to attend her wedding particularly if your parents are going to be there too. Its too much for you to cope with so I would not attend. Your H may well think that he is trying to protect you from your own self here because he has seen all too clearly their abuses of you and his family .

You really do owe your parents nothing given their abusive treatment of you. If you really do not want your children to go through the same thing then you need to stay no contact. What do you think contact would achieve anyway; once opened that Pandoras Box is bloody hard if nigh on impossible to get shut again. Any boundaries that you care to impose on them would be roundly ignored and they certainly are not going to say sorry or apologise for their actions. They honestly feel they have done nothing wrong here. Its not your fault they are like this; you did not make them this way and their own families of origin did that to them.

I would look at the website entitled Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and contact NAPAC (who are an organisation for people abused in childhood). napac.org.uk/ You also could do with talking to a therapist who has vast experience of dealing with abuse and narcissism hence the suggestion too of contacting BACP.

You may also want to post on the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these pages and read the resources at the start of that thread.

wherearemymarbles · 06/06/2017 15:59

Why would you want contact with such vile people??

As pp said, your mum feels no guilt whatsoever.

I can see exactly where your husband is coming from, even if I dont entirely agree with the leaving you bit.

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave · 06/06/2017 16:13

Your boundaries are a result of their behavior. No guilt in sight for that.

SimplySte · 06/06/2017 16:34

You have empathy and insight, two things that your parents lack. This is why you're feeling guilty, I've not long been NC with my abusive mother and there's often times when the guilt hits - regardless of the numerous abhorrent things she's done over many years.

Each time you feel guilty, just remind yourself why you've gone NC in the first place. I would keep any children you have far, far away from such people too.

Flowers
OnTheRise · 06/06/2017 20:23

Have you considered counselling? It can be very helpful in sorting out your feelings, and in making you feel like you have support.

mummyjen2 · 06/06/2017 21:53

Thank you all! I'm so so grateful for all your honest opinion its helping me wake up and make me realize how I shouldn't one bit feel guilty. Its very hard as they're my parents and I've been a people pleaser to them all my life. Its almost as if I still have that urge to just want to see them happy, its like a drug! If I can't see them happy I can't be happy and I really don't know how I can be happy. I have read many articles and seen therapists and Drs and they all tell me the same thing, if they don't bring value to your life then cut them out. But I'm finding it so hard. My son who is now 9 yrs, who my mom cursed and said something bad will happen to him is now wearing hearing aids in both ears, he's mildly deaf and it will effect his speech if he don't wear it. I know his deafness may have nothing to do with my mother but her cursing had given me so much stress during pregnancy that I should have every right to blame her for it. Hes now having alot of difficulties in school because of it and its breaks our heart. Ahhhhh.....I'm so sorry for adding more sad stories but I'm just so down. My husbands been trying to cheer me up taking me on family holidays but nothing works. My therapist discharged me a year ago now because she thought I was getting better but the guilt keeps coming back. But on the bright side I'm grateful that I wrote this post and you all replied and made me feel less guilt so thank you very much. I will keep reading more articles and see what more I can do to move on. Thanks again. x

OP posts:
mummyjen2 · 06/06/2017 21:54

I think I'll have to go back to counselling, thank you for the advice. :)

OP posts:
springydaffs · 06/06/2017 23:04

You sound absolutely lovely and deserve only the best in life Flowers

gamerchick · 06/06/2017 23:20

OP you're still the people pleaser because of the FOG. When you conquer that you won't want to please them or crave them the way you do now.

It's very freeing and it sounds as if it's time so you can carry on with the rest of your life in peace.

mummyjen2 · 07/06/2017 00:05

Thank you all! I am well and truly touched how you've all took your time out to reply. My husband just read some of your msg and he feels so much better that strangers like you have the same thoughts as him and can hopefully help me see light at the end of the tunnel. Like you said I'm going through FOG state, fear, obligation and guilt. I'm hoping one day I'll be able to overcome that. And thank you Springydaffs those are very kind words. Attilathemeerkat, the information you provided is so good. My husband read it and said you absolutely nailed what he was trying to tell me so we both thank you for your detailed msg. I will overcome this I'm very sure I will. I hope I will. x

OP posts:
OnTheRise · 07/06/2017 08:09

It does sound like a few top-up sessions with your counsellor might help. You deserve to be happy! Your son deserves to grow up in an atmosphere of love and support, not one of fear and cursing.

I haven't seen my parents in nearly four years, and I wish I'd cut them out years ago. My life is so much better wtihout them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page