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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP and his colleagues , is it me or him?

7 replies

blueflower30 · 06/06/2017 12:06

Hello all. My DP is in this new job for four months now. Every day when he returns he calls me to tell me about his co workers, how stressed he is , how "bad" the supervisor is etc. I always reply with honesty and how i think of the situation and this has caused many problems . He will end up arguing with me and be very hurtful over my opinion.
His first day at work , they assigned a colleague to train him. I didnt like his behavior it seemed too good to be true plus he was telling all sort of stories about their supervisor that at least to me seemed imaginary. I warned my partner to be careful of people who doesnt know and wait to make his own opinion about their supervisor. At the time he argued with me but later i was proven right. the colleague soon proven to be double faced
Colleague N2 is new there , he seems nice but to me he does things that i dont like. He told my DP that their supervisor prefers him than my DP and that he offered him his job , I wont believe ever that the supervisor offered their job to the new guy of one month .
Collegue N3 He is in the company for couple years but he just returned from medical leave. My DP told me how they spoke on the phone "for one hour" and he was slagging off the supervisor. I told him that generally he shouldn't trust people he just met and slagging off their supervisor with them
I also said that their supervisor is there to do his job and not to be their friend and that to me his actions are reasonable

The result was a huge argument, he verbally attacked me telling me that i am jealous of him making friends and that i have no idea about people and thats why everyone is taking advantage of me. He went to great lengths to support the colleagues he knows for a day the one and for two weeks the other. He said that when it comes to people i know f@@ck all and i better stop or get f out of here. He said that i blame the people who are good to him and i support the supervisor who is bad, and what is wrong with me. And that he will never tell me anything again
I did what i thought best, i gave him my honest opinion and tried to warn him about what i think are doubled faced colleagues .At the end of the day how unprofessional is to meet your co worker for first time and sit together slagging off your boss? I never even asked him about all that, he comes and tells me about those people.
I also caught him on lies, he will say two totally different versions of the same story in order to make his point
I would like some opinions please , do you think i do wrong and that he is right?

OP posts:
monkeywithacowface · 06/06/2017 12:14

I would just nod and smile at his work stories and let him handle it anyway he wants to. He's a grown man, I'm not sure he needs so much advice from his girlfriend.

Other than that he sound immature and a bit of an arse. Does he always speak to you so disrespectfully?

CookieLady · 06/06/2017 12:17

Ditch him. He sounds so fucking draining.

blueflower30 · 06/06/2017 12:25

@monkeywithacowface

Thank you for the reply. I guess you are right i shouldnt get involved. I never even asked him about all that , he decides to tell me because "he wants to make me feel involved" . And yes lately he always speaks like that and worse. He turned from what it seemed to be a nice person to a bully and it only gets worse

OP posts:
OnionKnight · 06/06/2017 12:28

He sounds like a fucking child, I'd dump him.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/06/2017 12:31

Please break up with him. He sounds absolutely pathetic.

Materdolores · 06/06/2017 19:06

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.
What do you want to happen? You can't change his behaviour but you could tell him that you are fed up listening to all this silly wittering.

FritzDonovan · 06/06/2017 22:02

I don't think it's you. I don't know how old he is, but it does sound very similar behaviour to a friend of my parents, who started behaving oddly towards other ppl like this. It intensified over a few years, I think, and he was eventually diagnosed with altzheimers or something similar (was a while back, can't really remember). I'm not saying that is the case here, but he sounds either tremendously immature, or something else is going on. Obv you would know better than I. Flowers

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