I feel comsumed with anger towards my much older husband (he 62 me 36) who I believe has treated me terribly. Since we got togetther (10 year ago, married 6 1/2 years)hes had me running around doing all his dirty work. I do all the 'womans work' as well as the diy, gardening, lifting heavy objects, all the looking after our 3 and 5 year old boys, tax returns and running his property business etc etc. I've had his 28 year old daughter living with us for a year (she moved out when kids got nits!). He is very angry with me, throws tantrums on a daily basis, disciplining kids means being nasty and losing his temper. He calls me up on the phone to tell me about a new problem he is encountering - he is a walking maelstrom. We have massive financial problems, because we have been buying properties for his 2 grown up kids, we have an interest-only mortgage of 30k per year. He earns no proffits from his hobby business, but it requires him to work all the time (so he can't look after kids or even spare half hour to chat to me). Yet he is committed to outgoings of 80k per year - expensive pension payments, his medical insurance, crit illness, ex-wifes life insurance, his life ins, the most expensive dentist costing 6k per year, thousands on eating out (supposedly important meetings) monthly allowances for his grown up children. We also have to pay for losses on his little property empire for his ex wife and two grown up kids from previous marriage - 20k per year, yet ex-wife never sets foot in property - and my parents come down to do the gardening, I dealt with squatters, renoveated the house, endless maintenance jobs, contracts, agents, if I don't let them then they sit empty. He won't put more of property business into my name (currently I have very small share holding (10%). For two months he has refused to discuss our personal expenditure. I can't have sex with him any more and i'm getting pretty depressed. Now my three year old goes to nursery I need to retrain (as an accountant, cos I'm so good at it now after doing 10years of his accounts) However only way I can get the time would be to get out of running his business (property business with 150k annual turnover, management fees to do same job would be 25k per year) I thought the property business was for our future but most is allocated now (by him) to pay off his debts for annual expenditure of 80k per year, to his 2 kids from prev marriage (they are 30), to pay for his old folks home and to pay off our mortgage, leaving no future income. I need to earn money to keep me and kids afloat. I fear we lose house due to his spending. I don't love him any more, I feel no loyalty towards him. He appreciates nothing I've done. we are going to a councillor and he complained I left hairs in the sink and therefore I didn't love hime. REcent cerv cancer scare sin3 and an laser operation to remove cells has changed my perspective on everything and I realise he and his agenda is causing me a lot of stress and too big a work load with no gain - I have to look after myself so I can ward off cancer. Id I divorsed I would have enough money to pay for nice house and would be better off financially because I wouldn't have to keep remortgageing to pay for is spending. Divorse instinctively feels right, although i feel really bad for kids and he might well turn really nasty. I fell divorse is better sooner rather than later - boys are 5 and 3 - is this true? My family would be very supportive if I divorsed and agree dh is 'impossible'. Should I divorse him? thanks to anyone who bothers to read this - really