Please tell me what I need to do to move on

[HappyJanuary]

It's been two years since I discovered his affair and threw him out. I don't regret it, I'm proud of it.

Still have regular contact for sake of dc.

He is with ow and seems very happy, planning a future and now accepted as a couple by everyone while I'm no further on at all. Somehow he's selling the whole thing as true love finding a way and I'm the collateral damage, so sad but unavoidable.

Everyone seems to think I'm ok and should be over it. I certainly can't talk to anyone about it. Even I think I should be over it. If you've been through it, what do I need to do that doesn't just involve waiting around to die in a few decades?

Not been through it but wanted to say that it is okay to go at your own pace. It was your world and reality that was turned upside down and no one else's.

Have you done things to get to create a new life for yourself?

Wings, I've got a new job, am trying hard to be more sociable with friends and have booked a holiday.

Nothing that seems to be helping really. Just the daily grinding utter misery and obsession with what went wrong, what did I do wrong, how could he do it, will they last, why do they get to be happy.

I didn't used to be like this, I used to be really happy and I loved my life.

Could you speak to your GP about counselling?

Sounds like you are taking the right steps. Time and some therapy are the two other things. Remind yourself that you are not to blame and you did not cause any of their awful behaviour. You can and will get over this but it won't be easy. How do you feel about dating?

Could you perhaps be depressed? I would genuinely go and see your GP. They must suggest some counselling as this is also useful for people trying to get over a break-up as well as getting people back together.
2 years does seem to be a long time to still feel the bitterness. You have every right to be angry and bitter at what he did to you, and its unfair that he gets to be happy. However, you must know that feeling like that for too long is only going to damage you.
Have you tried dating again?
I really think counselling is the next step for you to help you find peace so you can be happy again.

Thank you everyone. I'm not ready to date but will look into counselling.

It's been 2 yrs since I left my exh but I'm still bitter about it. We have new partners. I've just found out his girlfriend is pregnant, I'm devastated. All the years I spent with him trying to improve our lives and she's with him for 5 mins then pregnant it makes me sick. I aborted our baby 5 yrs ago as he didn't want anymore kids...if I don't laugh I'll cry...

You need counselling to let go of the past. it is weighing you down. There is no moving on whilst looking back.

The past is holding you back

I found counselling a huge help.

There's a counsellors directory. I simply picked someone who looked approachable. I do pay, because I felt I couldn't wait for help.

I could ha be written this message myself.

Hubby left 15 months ago, has moved on with new partner. I am still left licking my wounds and reflecting on what I did that was so awful, apart form working hard and trying to be a good mother and wife.

I have done the antidepressants, but took myself off then after 6 months and have now referred myself for counselling. Just need closure....

So massive hugs to you, let's hope we both have some closure too xxx

I desperately need to move on before I lose my partner too. I was doing great for months until this bombshell. I just want to run away.