The pressures of being a single mum whilst trying to do a nursing degree! Not sure I can do this.....

[user1496589862]

Lately, my head has felt all fuzzy. To the point of feeling faint and it is like my head is racing. I am anxious. I have not cried in so so long. Today I have cried so much my face is all puffy, because I feel like giving it all up. I'm in my 2nd year and to honest have not enjoyed one part of my degree. How can I. I am always skint! Struggling to find childcare and to pay for it! Counting every last penny for fuel to get to placements. Working extra hours to pay my mortgage. Which this month I cannot find. I have no free time to date which isn't top priority, I know, but I get lonely sometimes. I have no childcare for tomorrow after school and I am on placement 9-5. I knew it was going to be tough but not this tough! Is it all worth it??
I am studying mental health whilst questioning my own! I cant give it up. I have nothing else! I have studied since 2012 to get in to uni.

I am so sorry for moaning! Life is too short to be unhappy. I want to find 'happy' again!
I don't have anyone to talk to. Hoping for someone to chat to on here!

Definitely speak to your tutor and access student support services for an additional grants or even a leniency on your shifts etc., especially if you're coming from the potential angle of dropping out. The uni invests a lot of money in the fees (up until it changed) and it's in their best interest to support you to complete.

Otherwise, you should be very proud of yourself for working all of those hours, studying, revising and having three DC to care for. Can their dad not help out more?

I did my midwifery degree with three DC (my youngest being 11 months when I started) but my DH was flexible with his work and was so supportive throughout the course. He even attended to the youngest overnight as I had 13 hour shifts and his were only 8! 😝

Being a team definitely helped but I had a friend who had 4 DD's who was permanently skint, tired, late, run ragged etc. But she completed and several years later says she's so so glad she persevered. She's a mid way band 6 and continues to progress in her career.

Keep going

Google grants and charitable funding. I don't know off top of my head but pretty sure there will be a charity which can help you. I will try and look later when I have some headspace. Well done u . I'm a single parent desperate to change career but cannot comprehend how I'd study so hats off to you x

I know it is difficult, one of my kids is a MH nurse. Three years ago when they graduated they weren't sure they would stay in nursing but loves it now and is doing so well, has been in a management role for a few months with funding for a masters. There are so many opportunities but it is hard to see it when you are overwhelmed.

Is it possible to take a break? One of my daughter's friends took a year out, earned some money, had an easier year and went back feeling so much better.

Good luck, it will all be worth it in the end.

paperdoll thankyou, I do appreciate the NHS funding so so much. I could never have even thought about studying if it wasnt for that. I will definitely speak to my tutor when I get a spare 5 minutes. You have done amazing studying with a baby. I do wish I had support but my exH doesnt help in anyway possible which is sad because if he did it sure would benefit my DC's.

Jelly thankyou, that would be so so helpful if you could let me know. i wouldnt have a clue where to look. Good luck with your career change. What are you thinking of doing?
Granny thankyou, I really dont want to take time out. I feel that starting again in another cohort would be added pressure. Also I have been studying 5 years already. I need it to end! Otherwise I would consider that, definitely.

Thankyou all so so much!

Here's one site, there are lots more but this is good for starters grantsforindividuals.org.uk/search.aspx
I will look more tomorrow.
I don't know what I want to do really am typecast in a support role so trying to do other things in spare time, odd bits of training or volunteering but it's knackering! Just want more to add to cv really
All the best to you x

Thankyou so much Jelly :)
Its tough starting over. Youre doing the right thing not jumping into anything too quickly. All the best to you too!

I'm a personal tutor at university. Every year 10-20% of students have some kind of issue & we would much rather they come and talk to us about it than not eg in difficult circs it is often possible to get a 1-2 weeks extension on hand-in dates. I don't deal directly with your sort of placement but know of people completing them over a longer period eg due to illness.

I'm a nurse, please talk to your tutor.

Thankyou Columbine. I havent plucked up the courage to as yet. I am still feeling very very sick and anxious and cant really think straight right now.

Favourite thankyou. I will try to over the next week.

I am wondering if I should go to the doctor. I cant live like this for a further 2 years. The sick feeling, anxiety, racing mind. Its not right. Its not nice. Its like the more I focus on my anxieties the worse its getting. I was asked to make a phone call today and my heart was racing and I was shaking. I wanted to leave. How silly is that.

Op I work with students in your position. It is a very tough course. Please talk to your tutor, either personal or anyone else on the programme team who you can open up to. They need to know this stuff so they can help you. You won't be the first or last student who has felt like this, I promise

Evening. I'm a first year and some days my stress levels are so high it's not funny. I am off for a few weeks until my next placement. Thankfully I'm local for my next one.

Do you think a student nurse thread might be a good idea?

As well as all the great advice you've had please access counselling from your student services. I cannot emphasise enough how helpful it has been to me during tough periods.

There will be a way through. Do you have any friends that you could send a mass email to saying sorry but I'm at the end of my rope and need a bit of help? Tomorrow after school etc etc. If done to a group it puts no one person on the spot. I'm sure you have or will return the favour.

You've been studying a long time and sound burnt out. Breathe, use all the support you can and keep putting. One foot in front of the other. Nursing is a brilliant career. If MH turns out to be not your thing you can move sideways later.

Good luck.

HerSymphony thankyou. Ok, I will. Everyone seems to be confident in advising me to do so. I will try and email tomorrow when Im on placement.

tomato thankyou. Aww I know how you feel. Is there a student nurse thread? That would be a lovely idea, do you think. Everyone has been so lovely on this thread I really appreciate being able to chat. It means so much.

Matilda thankyou. I didnt even think of the counselling. I will ask. My uni is quite a distance and I am struggling this month but will send out some emails as I am back in uni in 4 weeks. Yes, burnt out actually sounds like how I feel, definitely. Its nice to hear positives on the nurse role too. I dont hear it much when I am out there working.

I've just finished my final year of a social world degree and it has been so tough but so worth it.
Placements have been difficult and on my last one it was a two hour commute, I was exhausted.
My troops would be, that you can't be all things to everyone. Cut back where you can, simple meals, less cleaning, combine exercise worth spending time with the kids by going for family walks etc.
Be smart with your study time and utilise whatever time you have. I prioritised getting up early at the weekend so I could study without the kids.
Just get your head down and plough though
You are doing great and your nearly there.

Hi user. Just wanted to add some sympathy. I'm a student midwife, currently on maternity leave but due to go back in September. Last year was my first year, and it was one of the most stressful years of my life. I had 2DC, age 7 and 3, and was pregnant with twins. I'm not a single mum but my husband is unwell. The stress of juggling childcare, placement, the fucking fucking MPAD, running the house, assignments etc was so enormous. I normally cope well but I constantly felt on the verge of a panic attack and was in tears all the time.

What I did, and what I intend to do when I go back is take one thing at a time. If you think about everything that needs to be done you will have some kind of breakdown. I took each day, each assignment, each skill I needed to get signed off at a time. And the time passed, and I got through the year. You have just 1 year left. You've come so far. Keep your head down and break it down into manageable chunks. Wishing you all the luck in the world. You are setting an amazing example to your children x

You'll get through this, I promise. I know it is hard, but the life at the end of this tunnel is pretty good. Not long to go now.
Speak to your tutor, to your mentor in placement. We've all been there and remember how hard it was.
It's a great, pretty flexible job. Think: I need a new washing machine, I will afford it next month, I'll just do a couple of extra shifts this month.
It'll be good, keep going.

Congratulations isittimetogotobed, good luck with your new career (love the username) thankyou.
Do you know what I am forever promoting exercise but put too much pressure on myself then. I was only thinking tonight I am going to start walking with my DC's instead of thinking I need to run all of the time. Not that I run alot but it something I do to take my mind away from everything. I then put pressure on myself. Right now its just not a good time. I try and tell myself I cant be all things to everyone
Our meals are simple and I am then full of guilt when you read on facebook how Mrs Jones has made homemade pie and Mrs Smith has run 120 miles. When my head feels a little lighter Im gonna make a plan for my study.

Thefuryroad thankyou, I actually felt emotional reading your post then. You have done amazing! I can completely relate to your feelings of being on the verge and crying. I am so so anxious every day, its awful. Congratulations on your new bubba and well done to you. Thankyou for the advice, its really helpful as I try to do this myself. I seem to have lost that focus but hoping to get it back. Good luck to you too.

8Fencing thankyou. Yes I am hoping to chat to my uni. Its been great to chat on here. Everyone has been so lovely and helpful. I certainly feel less alone. So I am grateful. Thankyou so much.

OP you sound like a lovely, lovely person. I don't have any words of wisdom, just that I really hope you make it - you will be a fantastic nurse

A really key skill about learning to be an HCP is knowing when to ask for help, and you have shown that here. (I hope that doesn't come across as patronising, I don't mean it to!) You sound thoroughly conscientious and skilled and you have come so far. They will not want to lose you from the course, or from the workforce when the time comes. I hope you have reassuring and useful discussions with your uni

Hello,

I agree with previous posters. You're amazing and doing really well to get this far.

I'm a student nurse just coming to the end of the 1st year and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm doing this as a career change and I regularly question why I walked away from my last career which was very well paid to my current choice where I'm permanently broke, tired and doubting myself. But when I feel like walking away I remind myself of the long term opportunities.

My personal situation is different to your's so I am in complete awe and admiration of you.

If you haven't already found them, there are a couple of student nurse support groups on Facebook with student nurses and recently qualified nurses who will offer loads of support:
student nurses support and advice
student nurse journeys and beyond

Strongly recommend that you access the counselling services available. My uni offer counselling online via personal email. Do you know if this is available at your university? A good alternative if you live quite far from your university.

Sending and a big fat virtual hug. Keep talking on here or on Facebook. Better out than in and we can support as much as we can xx

You are hating it now OP, being qualified is very different. I loathed the entire course and wanted to give up every day but once I'd qualified and after a few months knew what I was doing I loved it.
You are treated very differently as a qualified member of staff too, so it won't always be like this :-)

Well done to you for doing so well so far.

Apologies if this is something you've considered, but do you get the childcare allowance with your bursary? I have just started my nursing degree and DD is 2 so is in nursery and I receive 80% through that as I am on my own also so no other income. I know your children are school age but a friend of mine uses it to help fund after school clubs. Doesn't help much with nights etc but may help with the 9-5 issue you mentioned?

Definitely speak to your personal tutor. Best of luck!

user how are you doing? How are you feeling now you've managed to get through another week?

Do you have some time off over summer to look forward to? I have 3 weeks in August, can't wait 😊

I really hope you have reached out for some support and possibly made an appointment with your GP. Definitely just concentrate on one day/shift/week at a time. And give yourself a huge amount of credit for coming as far as you have.