Am I overreacting?

[madandsadagain]

I am a long term poster but have Nc. I need to know if I am overreacting with regards to Dh. DS2 can be hard work. A few months ago, we were on holiday, and DH became very cross with DS, resulting in him grazing DS 's face (photo 1) Dh maintains that this was an accident and his ring caught his face. A few weeks ago they argued and DH caused a slight scratch to DS 's face ( photo 2). This evening they argued over ipad use and DH scratched DS 's face, close to his eye. He said DS ran into his thumb. (photo 3). Despite the excuses I feel this is inexcusable, and am really concerned that all the scratches are in the same area, and his eye is very vulnerable. I am intending to act on this now, but tell me honestly if. I am overreacting?

Wow. Accidents happen but not three times in the same place. DS is 8- if he says he scratched him, he's old enough know what has happened, listen to him.

I don't understand how a child's face can get scratched like that if there's not something violent going on. Definitely report this. It really looks like abuse to me.

This is quite unsettling. I understand some kids can be really difficult and some can have underlying behaviour issues/difficulties etc and it can be infuriating if they do something that hurts or upsets the parent.

However, fighting over an ipad with an 8 year old? It sounds like your DH is also a child!! He is the parent and should be able to resolve these issues swiftly without these types of scratches/hand lifting in general. That is really concerning. I would have words with him now, show him child protection websites etc with examples of abuse and how it is wrong to basically fight with your child. Fair enough if it were a one off ( a friend of mine knocked her son over whilst chasing him one day for being naughty and he banged his head, we all witnessed it and it was purely an accident). However, when this has happened three times i would be taking action. To be honest I'd prob resort to hitting DH which I'm not recommending but it would infuriate me.

You also have to watch that the school doesn't pick up on this, because they will be on you like a ton of bricks.

There's no way you can 'accidentally' scratch your kids face on three separate occasions when by coincidence, they were annoying you. This is abuse.

3 times is way past "accident"

In pic 1 the injuries are on the right hand side of the face ? Which hand is the ring on ?

Pic 1 looks like he backhanded your son. I say this because I had similar injury because my mother used to backhand me regularly.

I agree Dawn and is what I was getting at

Right handed backhander. Op if you have any safeguarding training you will know this.

I am sorry.

Does your partner wear a ring on his right hand?

That would explain the injury - a hard backhander with the added impact of a ring.

I have an 8YO and I can't imagine ever being angry enough to backhand her Your DS is probably too scared and confused to tell you what actually happened. Speaking from my own experience there.

Please do something about this OP.

First picture is so upsetting.
I think you are doing the right thing op x

First picture is so upsetting.
I think you are doing the right thing op x

I'd be wondering how often he's whacking your ds without leaving marks. That first picture is really nasty. Your poor ds.

There really isnt any excuse for marking your child in that manner - especially following/during an argument. That first picture would be enough for me to have put him and his bags putside the front door and report him.

Were you there when any of these incidents took place? You didn't see what happened?

These accidental injuries happened on three separate occasions. On each occasion you felt the need to photograph the injury. You were suspicious from the outset. You were gathering the evidence. You know that they weren't accidents. Well done for now doing the right thing and protecting your child.

Oh your poor boy. That first one in particular is dreadful. And not at all consistent with an accident. I have an 8 year old. We don't argue (why would we, I am an adult and there are other ways to approach disagreements). I also have long nails and wear jewellery but have never caused her an accidental injury that would cause marks like that. I am glad that you see that this doesn't add up and are taking appropriate action. Take steps to keep yourself safe as well. I can't imagine that a man who argues with and hits a child is too nice with women either

I had similar injuries as a child. It was where my mother would grab my face and squeeze, sometimes digging her nails in.

Stay safe OP and tell your boy you love him.

madandsadagain thinking of you and your DS tonight

Just wanted to update you and thank you all.

I won't go into details, but it is reported, and SS are now involved. He will be safe.

Your comments and advice greatly helped.

Brilliant news madandsadagain

Pleased to see this. Look after yourself x

Thank you for update.
Best wishes

You've done the right thing OP. All the best.

That's a big and scary step to take. Well done and take care

Well done