Difficult situation here, recently my ex cheated on me and in a week's time, we were supposed to be going on holiday with my mum. Obviously, he is no longer coming. My mum can be a fairly difficult person but she would never 'act out' in front of him and they got along well, so it would have been fine. The reason we were going together is because she doesn't really have anyone else in her life to go with. My exdp is really easy to get along with so would have been fine.
However, she's been very angry about the holiday thing since I told her, and made a big fuss about having lost a lot of money (she hasn't lost anything, actually- he paid for his share, which is the only thing we've lost). She kept saying how he'd ruined our holiday which was a bit much.
I met up with her to discuss holiday plans, and it was fine at first but she kept picking at me, and making sarcastic comments like 'am I not enough for you/is my holiday not enough for you?' or 'do you even WANT to go on holiday with just me?' and 'sorry if my company isn't enough', etc, just very sarky and mean; I tried to explain I was just a bit down because of the situation generally (i.e lost my DP of 3 years?! we had seen him in town just before this too, so I was a bit knocked by it). She just got frustrated I wasn't outwardly excited, I guess. I started to get a bit upset and kept asking her not to do this because my 'mood' wasn't anything to do with her, kept saying I was excited I just felt a bit low. She then started with the 'and now you're upset because I'm such a terrible mother aren't I, everything's my fault, just like it always is with you' and started ranting about how no one treats her properly and all her daughters are awful, basically. It's what she is like. It doesn't matter what I say or how I counteract it. We didn't speak for a bit and then she brought up me moving house soon and said if I wanted her DP to help I would have to arrange it now. I said don't worry about it, I can sort it and she looked at me with absolute disgust and said don't be so patronising and don't speak to me like that. With her it's all just very twisted and odd. I don't know. So again I asked her not to be like this or I'd have to go because I couldn't deal with this and she said 'is this what you've become?'. So I did leave. I feel really horrible but I was on the brink of bursting into tears, and she is so cutting and unnecessarily mean.
She can be nice and okay to spend time with, but when this side comes out I can't deal with it, I especially couldn't in this situation.
I was so excited about this holiday, but a bit concerned because she does tend to be difficult sometimes seemingly at random. Seeing her and this unfolding just kind of confirms that. I would feel horrendously guilty if we didn't go though.
I just don't know what to do. If I go, no doubt we'll fall out on holiday, constant snipes about everything. If I don't go, she basically said I may as well torch our entire relationship. Things have been difficult between us what with her past alcoholism/EA as a child but I don't want to ruin our relationship forever (as tempting as that is sometimes). I want to go and give it a chance but I'm terrified and I won't be able to hold it together. I've been crying every day for the past fortnight about this shit situation and it's not getting any better.
WWYD?