'D'P is a wanker? Yes?

[Rockstarcunt]

We had a couple of crossed words because I didn't agree with something he did last night.

He got angry so I asked him to leave.
This is some of the tirade I got back.
Hes a cunt isnt he?!

Just to clarify...green is me, white is him.

Yes. He is. Why are you with him?

I'm not going to be after this.

What he did was awful but I thought he might have been able to explain.

Instead i get this. I feel like shit.

No one should have to put up with that sort of abuse, especially if he's done something wrong in the first place. You deserve and can do better than this. How long have you been together?

We've not been together a huge amount of time but we have known each other fkr a long time.

I left my marriage because he was abusive. I WILL NOT be drawn into that situation again.

I feel I'm now strong enough to call a day on it.

God, I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for him in the first place.

Why do men see me as an easy target?!

I've done the freedom programme. I've had therapy. I know my worth. I set my standards high. Yet down the line they all do the same.

Maybe I actually do just deserve it!

You do NOT deserve it. It's his problem that he's a nasty person. Good on you for recognising the signs early. But it doesn't make it easy.

U

Sorry! Yes, he's a dick. I've had many like that from abusive ExP (still sways from marriage proposals to accusing me of being a neglectful mother to our kids).
Get shot of him, and when he turns on the charm/sorrow, ignore ignore ignore!

The best thing is....hes been nothing bit perfect up until the point that he proposed. (Which was VERY recently!) It's like a switch has flipped.

He did something the night after which made me feel awful. I thought id give him chance to explain. But he couldn't! And instead i get the abuse...when it's ME that feels hideous!

Argh!

I'm sorry I'm going round in circles but I'm just trying to get my head round it.

HOW in such a short space of time do I go from being the love of his life who he wants to marry, to being a 'psycho' and a 'cunt' and all the rest?!?!

He sounds very manipulative. Getting rid of him is going to be interesting. And needs to be done. I'm thinking he'll use every trick in the book in an attempt to convince you to stay. Good luck.

dragon I think so too....unfortunately.

I can feel a whole tidal wave of 'I love you's, 'I have given everything for you', 'our families are now all friends'...etc.

I'm going to have to be so strong. But I feel so shitty and vulnerable. He's done a job on me hasn't he?!

I'm so fucking angry with myself. Falling for the emotional headfucker AGAIN!

Use the anger you feel for yourself on him. Every time you feel it. Perhaps adopt a mantra. Think of how much better off your children will be without him if you have any. Otherwise you risk depression or being weakened and allowing him back in. The last thing you need is self hatred and self loathing, which can so easily happen if you start with the self blame.

He doesn't sound stable or reliable.

I can understand things can get said in the heat of the moment but the way he's spoken to you on those texts is a sign of things to come.

Remember the MN famous expression If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.... etc

Don't be angry with yourself; you've recognised it's not a healthy relationship and you're going to break up with him! That's good work OP and you're not going to marry an abusive man again

Obviously he's one that thinks he owns you after giving you an engagement ring as opposed to waiting till you were married/had children before letting his true self come out.

I think people are too hard on themselves with all this 'I should have known/seen the truth about this person, why don't I ever learn? etc.'. Fact is, you don't really know anyone until you've seen them backed into a corner. Their responses when under scrutiny for a transgression usually tell you all you need to know about whether or not the daily charm is all an act.

Don't beat yourself up about another 'poor choice', OP. Like the majority of civilised society, I expect you look for the best in people. Often, this is justified. It was simply bad luck to encounter another chancer - but good luck to have obtained the measure of him sooner rather than later.

Get rid. Don't beat yourself up about it. You have spotted the red flags early, now's the time to act on it.

Abusers often go for vulnerable people. Did he know you were in a previous abusive marriage?

It's amazing how many people let themselves down when it comes to text messaging. And then it's there, in black and white. Especially late at night / early hours.

It's like there's no filter.

To try to understand the situation a bit more, can I ask what he did in the first place that upset you so much?

Yes he's a nob, yes you're right to fuck him off. As to how these men find you? Well, I think everyone has run ins with a few of them. The trick is to bin at the first warning sign, as you have. Sadly some of them are better at sucking you in before the mask slips.

As an aside are you aware of 'love-bombing'? Couple of things in your posts indicated that he'd been moving the relationship pretty fast - which can be an early warning sign. Manipulators often try and rush you into marriage/kids/living together etc as it gets so much harder to leave the more 'locked in' you are. Moving quickly isn't always nefarious, but if you've had abusive relationships in the past its recommended to keep things slow, giving them the chance to 'reveal' themself before becoming too committed (emotionally or physically). Most people can keep up an act for 6 months, very few for more than 2 years....

The main point is you've found out what a nasty bastard he is, quite soon into the relationship. And you've done something about it! That is amazing!
Be thankful for that rather than being hard on yourself for going out with him in the first place.

Even if you were over reacting to something/being over sensitive, a series of messages like that would be a huge red flag and worth finishing the relationship.

I'm sorry OP, but much better now than once you'd got married and it was more tricky to separate practically/legally.

He's really incriminated himself with those texts, the twat!

Don't delete and read it back if you're feeling weak.

He isn't worth your angst is he? I'd just be counting my lucky stars that he showed his true colours before you got married.

The next time (although i hope there isn't one) anyone sends you texts like that, please don't waste your time replying or trying to reason with them or asking them why! Just block their number, you have an iPhone i presume, it's really easy to do.

Yes he's a wanker.
What happened to begin with?