New relationship - advice really appreciated

[Lookingforabetteryear]

So I have one dd aged 4. With dds father I had a bad experience , he was cruel and nasty and we broke swiftly after dd. Anyway early this year I met a new guy , he's a few years older , divorced , has kids , fellow professional. All going well , we have a holiday booked in September already. But he's vey regimented , he likes to meet say three times a week for dinner n stay over / go out if we have sitters . We often take kids out too. But I feel that he'd never just pop around and seems to think he's v v busy when doing normal life tasks eg. Going the bank/ car wash . Makes me feel that life is v planned n regimented . He also suggested to me that he is unsure if he'd consider marriage again in future (something i DEFO want). He's nice and we have fun. I fee im leading / being v keen whilst he's happy to not see me as much as is possible . Is this a normal set up or is it odd?!

Are you meeting up tomorrow?

He is keeping you at arm's length for a reason - at least from what I have seen in RL from friends either dating someone like this or who are like this themselves. There is a secret somewhere that's being kept hidden.

That is really useful information. It letd yoi know that he likes you to be there when he fancies company but he misses you so little tidying his shed comes first. Im not unsympathetic as sometimes headimg out i want to stay in, but he does not miss you.

user1.... introducing her to his kids isn't a huge sign that he's into her.
It's equally likely to be:

• a sign that he's really poor at keeping his kids out of his new relationships
• a lazy arse that likes having a woman around to provide family weekends

I think that's it , he doesn't miss me. That's what's hurtful. He'll txt me to say he misses me but then doesn't come over when given the chance. Yes I have plans to see him tomorrow .

What's wrong with him being tired and wanting time on his own? He's seeing you tomorrow after all.

I must admit I'd find it quite suffocating to expect to give all my free time to someone I've only known six months.

Thank you caffeine . He may feel this may tbh, I guess some people are just slow burners and less intense than me .

I think you just have different expectations, it's not that either of you are wrong - you just need to figure out if you can live with that.

no no no
this is not good
i would want to come before his shed tbh

if i meet someone else i like to think we should be each others number 1 priority

Well yes I agree . Bloody hell!!! Maybe it's easier to be bloody single lol

awww i think it is tbh at the mo x

But sometimes people just want time alone! especially if he has kids, he might relish an evening to just enjoy his own company - what's wrong with that?

It doesn't mean he doesn't like you!

What would you like him to do? He sees you three times a week already.
You say 'regimented' where I see organised. What's wrong with him sorting out his shed tonight if he's seeing you tomorrow? How is that a sign he is keeping you at arms' length?

How long have you been together? If the lovely man I see had been as full on as you sound and not given me space to rest and do my own thing, and talked marriage the way you do after 5 months, and interpreted my planning as me being regimented, it would have freaked me out.
Sorry, but if it annoys you that much he wants a bit of time to himself maybe you don't like him as much as you think?

Been together since mid Jan. I've had abusive relationship in past where the guy was telling me I was amazing / his soul mate etc. He does need his alone time and I need to be better about this. I like him a lot and I need to realise that alone time does not mean he doesn't like me . I am really thankful for all replies