Dp telling me to shut up

[2boytrouble]

Recently dp of almost 7 years has been complaining that I don't talk to him! I am very quiet but after some reflection I had realised that when I do talk to him, it's met with a sigh from him, or just complete silence, so I don't feel like I should talk to him,

The evenings usually persist with him talking non stop and me just listening and him complaining that I don't talk.

Last night I came home in a really good mood from work with ds! I was talking to dp about my day and was genuinely upbeat and chatty!

After about 5 minutes dp literally said "oooh just shut up!!!"

Now! I'm feeling it this morning, we had a row over it last night where he at first said he was "joking" before saying that I "don't say anything important enough to listen to"

The evening persisted and I again was quiet without even being able to think of anything to add to the "conversation" and him getting frustrated! I've explained to him that all he does is belittle my comments, not speak in return to when I speak (to this he says the conversation was over at that point) and literally tells me to shut up.

I feel rotten and down this morning. When I say anything to ds he'll go over the top and try and out smart me.

I don't know why I'm posting. But for me, I think I've had enough.

I'm not a boring person, I have friends who I can talk to just fine. It's just him.

My exh was exactly like this, very arrogant and superior as if he was right all the time, acting uninterested in me or anything I had to say but rambling on himself until people's eyes glazed over. It's rude and puts a lot of pressure on you. Like you say, no one else has got a problem with my conversational skills.

I would never ever be with someone like that again.

If I had known what he was like before I got with him, I wouldn't be here now.

So what are you going to do about it?

@Growup he's exactly as you describe! My eyes glaze over so much because he bores me to death!!

He has troubled relationships with other people from what I can gather, he falls out with people a lot at work

"Maybe I'm the one with the problem"

Now why did you write that?. Has he presumably made you feel like that?.

Anyway no, its not you, its him. He also has troubled relationships with other people.

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

Why are you with him at all; is it simply because of your son?. He could well start telling you also to shut up soon mainly because his dad is showing him a terrible example.

@AttilaTheMeerkat I don't know what I'm getting out of it. My evenings are spent bored to death, he hardly talks to me during the day at the weekend until he starts his long rants!

Ds is already starting to be rude to me! He's starting to think he's more intelligent then me too! It's partly the reason that I'm starting the motions to leave.

Ds is so naughty for me (good as gold for dp) I have ds all day at work with me and dp literally told ds that he doesn't have to respect me because I'm just his mum.

@NellieFiveBellies I realise this is where I'm going. I so wish I left before!

Honey, the man's a dick.
Unless you are chained to the radiator, get out.

2boytrouble

re your comment;-

"@AttilaTheMeerkat I don't know what I'm getting out of it. My evenings are spent bored to death, he hardly talks to me during the day at the weekend until he starts his long rants!

Ds is already starting to be rude to me! He's starting to think he's more intelligent then me too! It's partly the reason that I'm starting the motions to leave.

Ds is so naughty for me (good as gold for dp) I have ds all day at work with me and dp literally told ds that he doesn't have to respect me because I'm just his mum"

All of the above are why you need to plan your exit from this relationship as soon as possible. Its also for your son's benefit as well as your own because he is indeed absorbing and learning a lot of abusive behaviour from his father. Are you at all surprised your son is also now starting to be rude to you, I am not because that was bound to happen.

You have a choice re this man, your son does not.

Seriously, get out now. What is the point of being with him?

How old is your son?

I didn't understand about the hours you and your husband work - does he take care of your son at home?

OP said her child is at work with her - maybe she is a childminder ?

OP there is a huge wide world out there with many options for your life. Working ten hours a day and being treated like shit or at best bored to death of an evening and every weekend sounds shit doesn't it?

New life awaiting. Even if you kept the same job, stayed single and didn't do anything of a weekend you would at least not be being bored to death and be able to watch holby in peace.

In reality though there'd be lots of options once you break the seal on this dead end and get back into your life.

OP, how old is your DS and is the dickhead his father?

he falls out with people a lot at work
I can't begin to think why .
As a PP said, if you were only dating and he treated you as badly as he does now, he'd be dumped pronto wouldn't he.

I suspect that the things hes wanting you say when you dont talk enough are "oooo DP, youre so right! Tell me more about your fascinating insights into the new aluminium trans-siberian pipeline network! DS, rush in here and hear your fathers wisdom, quickly! Gather the others!"

If I had known what he was like before I got with him, I wouldn't be here now.

There's your answer. It isn't a life sentence. You can leave whenever you want.

As for this!

*Ds is already starting to be rude to me! He's starting to think he's more intelligent then me too! It's partly the reason that I'm starting the motions to leave.

Ds is so naughty for me (good as gold for dp) I have ds all day at work with me and dp literally told ds that he doesn't have to respect me because I'm just his mum.*

When you dp said this to your son, you should have said "oh no. Daddy is wrong. He sometimes is. You must have respect for me and everyone else and don't for a minute think I am not in charge around here because I am*

@Pallisers if only I'd said that! I stood in disbelief

For the record ds is 5 and he is dp's child

I'm in shock that he is teaching your son this, what a horrid thing to do, it speaks volumes doesn't it? I'm very happy your planning to leave your life will be a much happier one without this cretin draining the life from you

Not only is he treating you like shit, he's also setting your son up for a lifetime of crappy relationships where he won't be able to relate to a partner on an equal level.

Get out OP!

He's an abusive cunt. You deserve better.

What aquamarine says