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Relationships

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Original poster

Is it possible......

10 replies

arrrrgggghh · 01/06/2017 07:09

For a spark to develop later?
I've been seeing someone for a couple of months and there's no real "oomph" but we get on really well and like each other... not sure whether to give it time or just cut my losses!

OP posts:

Popcornandjam · 01/06/2017 07:14

From experience, no. That's not to say you can't have a good, solid relationship, but I've been I the same position as you and, four months in, I decided to call it a day. I enjoyed his company but there was no desperate urge to see him. I know that fades but I think it needs to be there in the beginning.

tsonlyme · 01/06/2017 07:19

I think it's possible. I've had a couple of relationships where it started out fairly day to day and the more I spent time with them and had sex with them the more my feelings grew. The fact that it freaked them out and they ran is another story altogether 😂

TheNaze73 · 01/06/2017 07:21

I don't think so. If there's no initial spark, I'd walk.

luckylucky24 · 01/06/2017 07:25

With my DH it was a love that developed rather than hit you in the face. It has been a much stronger relationship that those that were based on lust in the first few weeks. We really got to know each other before things started up which has helped long term.

rocketman3 · 01/06/2017 15:07

not in my experience. this is the kind of scenario where I start to feel yucky.

Morecaffeineplease · 01/06/2017 16:21

Personally I think there is.

I couldn't stand someone when we first met. We just didn't click at all. I never wanted to get talking to him etc.

After a few months I saw him smile at something affectionately and that won me over.

Big spark - friends were very pleased that we'd got our act together.

A decade on & that flame is still there & people still comment on our chemistry.

Adora10 · 01/06/2017 16:22

Your call OP, 2 months is a fair amount of time but what have you to lose, I also believe feelings can develop over time that were not initially there.

TeardropExplodes · 01/06/2017 16:26

Is the spark tied in with sex? I think it is. I think the spark makes you want to have sex with them, then the sex makes the spark grow.
That's why when couples stop having sex they often complain the spark's gone.
But that's just my theory.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 01/06/2017 16:26

When I was younger I had to have the instant spark thing...cue a lot of flings that never went anywhere. Took me years to realise that the spark didn't mean they were nice, or we were destined to be together forever. Sexual attraction can be just that, and not lead anywhere sensible. I got to know DP more gradually, and the attraction grew. Shared values, and someone being a good person more important than the instant spark thing IMO.

TheLuckDragon · 01/06/2017 16:45

When I met my ex it was like a lightning bolt. Immediate spark. First two years were amazing and then the spark started to die. It lasted 4 years before I ended it.

When I let my husband there was no spark, not even an initial attraction and 10 years later we are still together.

Sometimes a spark can die out but a slow burner lasts longer in my opinion

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