Am I over reacting

[angelinheaven]

Hi all,
Right so not sure if I'm over reacting or it's just me,so please be truthful with me on this.
Been with partner 11 years, ima sahm and we have 3dc,and I have dc from previous relationship,my partner works.
I'm feeling really down and alone, he works 8 till 5, when he gets home his dinner is cooked, I do all the housework, all washing, all shopping, all the childcare, as he works Monday to Friday about 10 mins drive from home. So anyway he gets home from work has his tea, then sits down until he wants a shower, he has never bathed any of the dc or put them to bed, and I do mean never not once. He has never cooked a dinner in all the years together. Even when I went through a miscarriage I still stood at the cooker to cook dinner for everyone while in terrible pain and struggling to stand. He never asks how I am, never asks how the dc day was at school, but yet doesn't understand why I don't want to hear about someone he works with. He accuses everyone of having affairs and has something to say about everything, even saying to people that I never looked like this when we're first together believe it or not she was really slim and looked after herself, yet I buy something cheap for myself and he gets in a mood and tells me how did I afford it.
Is it just me, is this normal, I know he works but why doesn't he want to see to his dc just a little bit, even just put them to bed at the weekend when he doesn't work. It's now at the point where the dc tell him they don't like him. My youngest is 4 and she asked me why daddy is horrible to me .

Excellent that the house is yours. Does he have sole access to the money or do you have joint money?

You can start getting a plan together now and then when you've got everything in place, kick him out.

Photos of every single financial document you can find.

Single parent here. It's ok. Sometimes it's bloody brilliant because I have had some really lovely times with the kids since he left - he is a good dad though so it makes it easier.
Your kids will vote with their feet, they are all getting to an age where their views on seeing him will matter.

He has access to his money, no joint account.
All my family are an hour away, but older dd who is 17 has been amazing she was there for me at every appointment when I went through my miscarriage, and the younger dc adore her and she is great with them.
I know I need to start planning, and be strong for the dc, always been independent but feeling the total opposite at the mo.
Thank you all for so much support

Warmest best wishes.

You are in a good position as you can ask him to leave.

Do it for yourself and your children.I feel for your children as they must loathe the atmosphere and hope that you are strong enough to help them.

Oh op I can sympathise . I know it's much easier said than done but you and your dc will be much happier living apart from him. All the best

Go to the bank & set up an account in your name if you haven't got one already.

Go to citizens advice, Job centre or your local council office & fill out all the forms you need to claim any support available unless you're claiming anything already through DPs account?

Get things in place & then tell him it's over.