URGENT husband advice: How long/quickly does labour last with No 2 if No 1 was an induction and emergency c-sec?

[SkyeBlu]

My wife is currently 39 weeks and 3 days expecting our second baby. Our first baby had to be induced at 42 weeks and after a traumatic labour ended in an emergency C-section. She is very twitchy about my commitment to work and needing to be 3.5 hrs drive away for work all day on Thursday (2 days time) - 3 days before official due date. I really need to go to this meeting. Am I or she being unreasonable? Please advise!!!

In reality, you are unlikey to give birth within the 3.5 hours it would take for him to jump in his car and get to you. Yes, you hear the stories, but I assure you, they are few and far between. There will most likely be signs that birth is imminent. If you look at FraterculaArctica's post she describes a 50 labour. However, her waters had broken the previous day. I would say that if your waters go, your husband should be straight into the car.

None of it is ideal. I absolutely understand your anxiety. However, I also understand your husband's point of view. If he can make this meeting, which he tells us is important, he should do so. On the proviso that he returns if and when needed.

Good luck with your VBAC!

He should go to the meeting. Keep phone on and be out the door the second you call - if you do. It's not even your due day yet and life can't just stop for possibly the next 3-4 weeks on a 'just in case' it's not like he's leaving the country!

You are right @BandeauSally, randomsabreuse and iamreginaphalange in that his work or bosses are dicks and totally don't understand and we do need a roof over our head as currently I am not earning so...due to financial reasons he is not able to take paternity leave and is just planning on taking as much last minute holiday that he can get away with. Working with twats that don't understand an anxious mother is a great stress for him and I think I will end up 'sucking it up' as BluePeppers puts it and accepting that I am lucky with the support I do have (if things do kick off) and that husbands never used to have to be there (also understand the life of a vet randomsabreuse because I am one too!) and stoic, hero wives of armed forces don't get luxury of even an option sometimes of husband being there so I think he is going to just go to this bloody meeting......Wondering/hoping that nature is clever enough that my mind will control the 'not yet, not yet' switch for it all starting until his return...what do all you kind, kind people that have replied (THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL ADVICE AND SHARING PERSONAL EXPERIENCES = AMAZING)...think about "Mind over matter....and childbirth timing/starting?".....thank you again XXXXXX

No idea about mind over matter and whether it has an impact but exp was forces and managed to get an 18 day period during which I could have him present at the birth. He got home 1 day before my due date, baby was 6 days overdue and induced and he left for a 6 month deployment when baby was 11 days old. It was touch and go as I got closer to due date. Baby 1 was 3 days over due so I hoped baby two would be too, thankfully he was 6 days over. There was no movement with EXps dates at all so we just had to hope and I kept my legs squeezed tight

It's shit that his employers are dicks. Hope he's able to look for a better job with people that actually care about their employees. Have they sprung this meeting on him, knowing your due date?

I had a similar first birth. Second birth was 2 and a half hours start to finish. It was a walk in the park compared to my first labor

Squishedstrawberry4 - That is the dream, fingers crossed ASAP!! Thank you.
AssassinatedBeauty - I haven't asked! ...Jobs are tricky ones!
Thank you.

RebornSlippy - Thank you for this response..it really sings to me.
REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING FROM EVERYONE - THANK YOU!!

My second (following an emergency c/sec with no.1) was 2 hours and was very problematic. Don't take chances, please

There's a 3.9% chance of you having the baby on that day. If you feel absolutely fine before he goes, and there are no signs that labour is imminent, then I think it's OK for him to go, as long as he's contactable at all times. Relocating the meeting nearer home or calling in by telephone/video would be preferable though.

I might be in the minority (sorry!) but if I had the support as you describe I'd just leave him to go. Likelihood is you won't have the baby on that day and him going will make it easier for him at work which might be beneficial for taking leave.

I do understand how you feel though - I had a very awful c-section 4 years ago and haven't felt ready to try again until the last few months.

Good luck - wishing you all the best.

WTAF, NO. Stay with your wife. She needs you to be with her and your other child. Stop making her more anxious than she needs to be. Now is not the time.