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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Absolutely fuming.

4 replies

hadenough638362 · 28/05/2017 16:59

For the past 2 weeks DP has not been home much at all, we have a 2 year old. Last weekend he did some extra work on the side (obviously no issues there). On his day off he was out for most of the day (pre-booked so I still wasn't pissed off at this point). Friday night he went shopping and last night he went out for a friends birthday. He comes home drunk at 4am. He basically refused to surface until 11am and has been completely unproductive all day. When he woke up I went to the tip (something I have been asking him to do for weeks now) and DP stuck the telly on and didn't bother to put DS down for a nap, hence he fell asleep at 3pm and now won't go to bed till 10. I asked him why he did this and he claims he has no idea what time DS has a nap now. I said do you not think that is a blatant sign you are just not very involved and he said well how would I know I actually have a job to go to. I lost my job a few weeks ago. The more I think about this comment the more fuming I am because if I'm expected to do all the effing housework and childcare I feel like telling him to go and work 60/70 hour weeks to provide for us and I just won't bother working.

I went to speak to him have a massive go just now and he's asked me if I can walk to the shop to get him a bottle of coke and that he won't be coming to dinner tonight with my family as he still doesn't feel well. There's always an excuse for not doing this/going there. I just absolutely lost it as this point. I'm so so sick of it Sad

OP posts:
Pollydonia · 28/05/2017 17:13

He sounds like a dickhead. Do not go to the shop for him, or make excuses to your family.

hadenough638362 · 28/05/2017 17:36

I didn't go to the shop. I do make excuses for him because I hate it. It's embarrassing. It basically just says that he doesn't want to spend time with us or them.

OP posts:
mrholmes · 28/05/2017 17:36

Sit him down. Maybe in a pub or a restaurant by yourself how you feel and that you need things to change. Change does take time by the way but if things don't change by x amount of time you have 2 choices

Put up with it and make it work for you as best you can

Or

Leave

I know leaving isn't that easy but in between the leaving you could try couples counselling

TheNaze73 · 28/05/2017 17:57

He doesn't see you as a priority

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