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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice appreciated

2 replies

wjusthappened · 28/05/2017 00:33

Met my husband 17 years ago, 3 children, 4 counting our twin that never made it, it Saturday night, usual trash tv, bottle of wine, YouTube little search and getting ready for bed. I informed husband a couple of weeks ago I was raped. I am still dealing with that and it was watching 3 girls that brought it up for me...I questioned for years whether it was, turns out I was.. another story. My husband also had an affair when our eldest was a year old and we had been together 8 years at this point. We got over it and despite my issues I held inside all has been ok. Until the last few days and specifically tonight. He flipped over my choice of music, slammed and kicked tables, shouted, Threats to kill himself and has gone out. It has got to a point over recent weeks of shouting at us all and dealing with depression (that he only really properly opened up about tonight) that I think it is best we split. He seems to need space and a close to things, I can't cope with his erratic behaviour recently I have really tried I just don't know what to do for the best. He has just walked back in and phoned work saying off sick with a mental breakdown. Wtf do I do guys??

OP posts:
Puddington · 28/05/2017 00:47

Sorry OP I'm not clear on some parts of your post (also sorry to hear about the awful time you have had in the past), but has he been shouting at you, kicking furniture and threatening to kill himself for a while? If he really thinks he's having a breakdown has he spoken to his GP or another professional who could help him? You can't be expected to live with that sort of behaviour all the time. Even if it is a genuine mental breakdown you don't need to stay with him if you don't feel safe and happy.

wjusthappened · 28/05/2017 00:56

Sorry it isn't clear, my head is a bit blown Sad it came to ahead tonight, he hasn't been aggressive until today and tonight but no idea how to deal with it. Especially the claims about his mental state.. how do I take responsibility for that?

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