This might sound a bit odd but I just want to know if I'm being a total cow here or whether I'm speaking sense.
Been with DH 4 years, I have 2 kids (11&9) and we have a toddler together and am 36 weeks pregnant.
When we got together his fairly recent ex went a bit weird, very very jealous he was moving on as she always hoped they would get back together. They'd been separated for around 7 months when we first started seeing each other. She would message me claiming she was 6 months pregnant (lie), that they were married (lie), she even told the police he hit her so he got arrested. This was 100% impossible as he was with me all night, his car (she says he turned up in) was in for its MOT and we were in a town 40 miles away. Because of this false allegation SS assessed my children's safety, apparently it's standard procedure with DV allegations, I found this very distressing. As well as the constant messages.
So, she has 2 kids who are approx 15 & 12. When DH and her were together they brought them up as "their" children but they're not DHs. When they split up she said she was telling the kids the truth and that DH was to have nothing to do with them anymore. So he didn't.
It has since transpired that ex has told the 15 y/o but not the 12 y/o DD. We are at a large BBQ tomorrow and her DD will be there, she still thinks DH is her dad.
I do not feel comfortable going along with this lie AT ALL. My toddler isn't her half sister and I don't think it's fair to pretend she is. I also think the longer this lie continues for the worse it gets for a young teen girl. I would never get involved in telling her the truth obviously but I don't feel I should lie either. WWYD?
I think I might just find an excuse to leave and quietly slip away but is that the right thing to do? I also don't want any of my children being confused by this girl calling DH dad. I just don't think I'm prepared to play along with the family reunion knowing the truth.
Am I being an awful cow here? It's not the poor girls fault and I genuinely feel so sorry for her. Her whole life has been a lie.