No sex, he's not interested

[NurseScorne]

Currently standing at around once a month and that's only if I push it. I'm 36, he's 45. He can get an errection no problem, he just can't be arsed to use it (yet looks up "naked Snapchat" and "milf" on the internet.

I've talked to him. He says there isn't a problem and I'm being "silly".

Am I being "silly"?

No.

You're not being silly.

I wouldn't be able to live with that.

Last time we had sex was a month ago (again it was me instigating). I've mentioned it to him these past couple of days and he's said "I agree, we should make some effort" yet here I am in bed alone whilst he watches jools holland downstairs. In morning he'll stay asleep until gone 11am so I'll be up and dressed by then. Tomorrow night he'll be drunk. Sunday morning he'll be hungover. Monday will begin the "word/tired" excuse. I'm getting really, really fed up of it. It's shattering my self confidence, making me feel unloved and unwanted and in all honesty, making me consider whether I want to be celibate/a once monthly duty shag for the rest of my life. I know I don't.

I think you need to tell him everything you've told us.

Why is ending the relationship not an option?

I had one like this. Ended it. Life is better

He's obviously not that into you by his actions. I'd end it

What do you get out of this relationship now?.

Its no point further talking to him; I'd be planning my exit now from this frankly awful sounding relationship. Better to be on your own than to be so badly accompanied.

Sometimes people can leave or take sex. He sounds like he can leave it, but you cant. There is nothing wrong with that at all. You can't continue the relationship with mismatched drives it won't work, and he can't just have sex when he doesn't want too.

Sounds like he can't be bothered with you or the relationship - that's much more fundamental than just lack of sex.

He doesn't sound like much of a catch.. certainly he doesn't sound like a happy or fulfilled person (might be wrong, perhaps he's all about Naked Snapchat and drinking..)

You deserve more. Time for a cards on table chat.

How long have you been together?

been there. mine was having an affair, as well as all the online stuff and hookups. he had totally checked out of the relationship but wouldnt admit it. it wasnt me, he needed to make me unattractive and horrible in his head to justify his actions