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Original poster

Whose unreasonable?

21 replies

Notgoodatall · 25/05/2017 20:11

It may seem minor but things are really affecting our relationship.
It's 8pm. I want to put our kids to bed but when I come in from being outside to do so, I find he has given them snacks in bed.
Every night he refuses to be quiet around the house and will bang and slam things which mean our 15 month old baby will wake up multiple times and I have to go and sort him out. He says he isn't creeping around his house.
Do other people in our position try and be quiet at night time so not to wake the baby. Our baby also has cerebral palsy which means he does wake up due to one side of his body being weak.
It's actually really affecting our relationship resulting in an argument every night.

OP posts:
Justbreathing · 25/05/2017 20:17

Who the hell bangs around with a sleeping child upstairs, no one would do it because they wouldn't want to deal with the constant settling down again.
So from that I might infer, he makes the noise you do the settling...?
If he had to do the settling would he make the noise, that's the question you might ask yourself, and perhaps the reasons why.
Doesn't sound great

BoudiccasHare · 25/05/2017 20:17

If he won't be quiet in the house he can sort the kids when he wakes them.

Smeaton · 25/05/2017 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Notgoodatall · 25/05/2017 21:02

Thanks. I'm going to tonight. I don't know why he is so difficult about it. After dealing with kids all day I just want some quiet time

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 25/05/2017 21:03

Why doesn't he sort out the kids when he wakes them?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 25/05/2017 21:04

I might be tempted to find some quiet time in the pub and let him deal with them. After a week or so he might decide being quiet is a good thing.

PosyBear · 26/05/2017 07:26

I was Googling "Mich therapy", thinking it was a way to help people with noise sensitivity. My 25 year old daughter experiences this to such an extreme level that some areas of her life can be miserable.
But I think it was an auto correct...

PosyBear · 26/05/2017 07:30

Forgot to say: I find having to creep about when children are asleep very annoying. We tend to be our normal selves around the house when the children (2.5 and 6 months) are in bed. If we accidentally wake them, they resettle themselves. But we don't go into their rooms or crash about or anything. Nothing deliberately idiotic. But yeah. No creeping about trying to be quiet.

Smeaton · 26/05/2017 07:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joysmum · 26/05/2017 07:45

I was never quiet either. From the start I was hovering during nap time etc as I wanted a baby who could settle herself and sleep through most things. Mind you, my dd doesn't have CP.

Either way, whoever ever woke the baby should resettle the baby.

Badliar · 26/05/2017 07:51

Why is he banging and slamming anyway?

abbsisspartacus · 26/05/2017 07:52

There is not being quiet and being a dick sounds like yours is a dick

DarkFloodRises · 26/05/2017 07:56

Just say to him: if you make a noise and the baby wakes, you're responsible for getting him back to sleep.

The snacks in bed thing would really annoy me too!

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 26/05/2017 08:11

I won't be silent around baby sleeping but obviously I'm not going out of my way to make loud sounds. Really don't think it is a good think too not have any kind of background noise around a baby.

Is it actually your husband slamming cupboards that is waking your child or the CP?

Walkacrossthesand · 26/05/2017 08:36

What about dental hygiene too - once night feeds have been dropped, there should be no food/drinks (other than water) after teeth have been brushed, surely?

thethoughtfox · 26/05/2017 11:01

Banging doors and slamming things isn't normal behaviour never mind normal family noise. Refusing to adjust your behaviour for the good of your children is very odd and when you factor in a sick baby, this is disturbing. This aggressive (seemingly deliberate) noise making is a huge red flag. This reads like he is an angry and aggressive man. Does this sound like him? Was he always selfish and angry? Is he struggling with having a child with a health condition?

GoodEyebrowDay · 26/05/2017 13:24

I've always wondered why it's considered a positive thing to be noisy when a child is asleep so they 'get used to it' but if an adult is asleep they'd be well pissed if someone started hoovering.

We speak a little quieter & avoid floorboards when DD in bed, just seems courteous

Cricrichan · 26/05/2017 13:30

I'd be fuming! I'd also join a gym and let him do bedtime every night whilst you were out. See how long it would continue.

Joysmum · 26/05/2017 17:19

I've always wondered why it's considered a positive thing to be noisy when a child is asleep so they 'get used to it' but if an adult is asleep they'd be well pissed if someone started hoovering

Because kids go to bed much earlier and most adults work so chores etc need to get done after work.

GoodEyebrowDay · 26/05/2017 19:40

They can wait?

Joysmum · 26/05/2017 21:41

In your house maybe, but not for many. Personally we prefer to have as much done during the week so weekends (if not overtime) are leisure time.

My munchkin is much older now and can sleep anywhere at any time without reliance on routine or quiet. I'm glad I did what I did with her.

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