Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why do I laugh?

36 replies

JustMay · 22/05/2017 08:51

I'm just jut wondering if someone can help me understand something; When I've been hit I laugh. I mean really giggle and smile. This tend s to wind up the person more and it gets worse.

I want to know why I do it. I know it will make things worse but I just laugh. I rarely feel scared during too.

Is there something wrong with me? Most people would be scared but I'm not at the time in a weird way, pain dosent really bother me at the time too.

Posted here because I've been trying to look it up but I'm getting no where. I'm just a bit confused by it all. Sorry if this is garbled or anything. I just want to be able to stop myself.

OP posts:
ineedabodytransplant · 22/05/2017 16:12

Jutsmay, you need to get out as soon as possible. It only takes oen strike too many or too hard and you won't be around to have the choice to leave.
On a personal note - When I was young my mum used to beat us. I'd laugh the more she did it!! Hit me that was, not my siblings. I never knew it was a 'defence' mechanism. I just thought I was stupid.

Garlicansapphire · 22/05/2017 16:59

Seriously OP, are you for real? Get out. Dont learn how to respond to being hit like a slave. Get out. This is not okay. Ever.

Original poster
JustMay · 22/05/2017 17:09

Yes , I am for real. If it were as easy as ''get out now'' I would have done that. I DONT LIKE living like this. I'm getting my head together with it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustMay · 22/05/2017 17:10

Thanks for all responses, Prob a good time to end this thread.

Thanks

OP posts:
Adora10 · 22/05/2017 17:11

But you are not going to see the real picture until you do get out OP, you put more emphasise on why you laugh when you are beaten and say nothing about why it's all shades wrong that someone even lifts their hand to you.

Until you get out you will continue to normalise it in order to help you survive and stay.

You don't have to stay!

ThePerryMasonandHisBrain · 22/05/2017 17:51

OP - if you read a post on MN titled my dog doesn't bark when I kick it? how would you respond? What would you think?

Your 100% priority is to get out of this relationship.
Your 100% responsibility to yourself is to get away from a man who hits you.
It is not to work out why you laugh when he hits you.

The laughing is not the problem. It really isn't.

ravenmum · 22/05/2017 18:06

I hope this thread was just putting your toe in the water and to start thinking about what you can do, in a roundabout way. Keep on reaching out, take little steps if you have to until you can take the plunge.

keepingonrunning · 22/05/2017 18:45

I think you might laugh as a coping mechanism, as some kind of detachment from what is happening to you. The word might be dissociation.
Basically you can't believe the situation you find yourself trapped in because it's so awful.

OnTheRise · 23/05/2017 08:13

It sounds to me as though you're laughing almost as a way to protect yourself. Trying to minimise the abuse into being a bit of a joke. And also to not "provoke" him into doing it more, which criticism almost certainly would.

I am so sorry you're living with abuse like this. You do deserve better, and your husband should not be doing this. I don't think trying to stop laughing is the solution; I don't think talking to him and trying to reason him out of his violence is going to work either. What help and advice do you need in order to have the strength you need to resolve this situation? Do you want advice on how to leave, or how to react when he's abusing you? Because while I can see you're struggling with this, the issue here isn't your laughing, and even if you manage to stop that, he'll just carry on unless you do something radical to keep yourself safe.

daisychain01 · 23/05/2017 08:28

If you laugh as a response to being physically abused, it does sound like a defence mechanism. But the danger is that is comes across as goads and they could hit you again

Yes it's their problem and they are 100% at fault, but you could suffer the consequences all the same, if they do it again because of your reaction. Just to be clear, I'm not victim blaming, but I am highlighting how it comes across from that sick individual and how it could make them more angry.

ravenmum · 23/05/2017 09:09

The OP doesn't need that explained to her, daisychain - she says in her post that she knows it will "make things worse".

And knowing that doesn't help, as you can't control how you react when someone attacks you.

To be honest, he's going to hit her anyway, whatever she does. It actually is not about her laughing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page