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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So irritated...

2 replies

mttt · 22/05/2017 00:40

Husband texted me at 10:30 last night to say he was done with work, but going to grab a beer with co-workers. I say, "Okay, be careful." Fast forward to 3:00am when he finally comes home and spends the next HOUR making noise in the kitchen. I was so tired and pissed, I couldn't even deal with getting up. Now, this morning he tries to say he's sorry for being a little late....I got mad and told him it's rude to stay out drinking until 3am when you're married and have a baby at home. He gets super pissy and defensive and says I'm attacking him and being mean. Dude, WTF? He's done this same thing maybe 5 times in the past when I was pregnant, and since baby arrived. Every time, I tell him I don't appreciate it, he then says he won't do it again. What is going on here? I try to talk to him about it, but he just gets defensive. By the way, he hangs out with friends all the time and I don't have a problem with it, so it's not like I'm trying to control him or not let him have fun. Ugh, I just feel like I'm bashing my head against the wall whenever this happens.

OP posts:
HildaOg · 22/05/2017 00:42

I'd be pissed off about him being noisy and keeping me awake. The staying out part... Not so much.

scottishdiem · 22/05/2017 01:27

"told him it's rude to stay out drinking until 3am when you're married and have a baby at home."

No. It really isnt.

"spends the next HOUR making noise in the kitchen."

This is very rude.

"5 times in the past when I was pregnant, and since baby arrived."

So less than once a month getting drunk?

If you want to go out and he isnt supportive of that then he is being an arse. If he isnt helping to look after his child then he is being an arse. But going out and getting drunk isnt really a problem (insofar as a society we tolerate getting drunk). If you are angry that he isnt helping you with the child then tell him that. Show him how much time you working at home with the baby and housework and seek more support. Be angry for being noisey as well I suppose. But I think the going out is what is pushing you over the edge as there are problems elsewhere.

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