Do I say something to DS's dad or ignore?

[hipposinacircle]

DS is 6. I split from his dad when he was a baby but they maintain a relationship and stays with him every other weekend.

My contact with XDP is minimal nowadays to avoid arguments as I believe him to display sociopathic traits, as well as being a pathological liar; so over time I've learned there is little point engaging when I have had an issue with him.

I am now married and he is in a long term relationship.

DS has come home today and mentioned that his dad has been saying things about my DH that I don't think are appropriate, just silly things like 'daddy says he is stronger than (DH)'. My DS has a great relationship with DH so I think a lot of it stems down to jealousy. But what do I say to DS so as not to confuse him further? Take no notice of daddy as he's a total moron?!

Speak to your ex, from his partners point of view how would he like it if your DS was telling her "mummy told me she is way more beautiful than you".

He needs to grow the fuck up.

WOW, how childish..... It depends on how you think your ex will react if you say something. He will probably deny it (being a liar) so is it worth the hassle? I would just ignore it and as your DS gets older he will also know how childish and pathetic these comments are. If its not affecting your DS and DH's relationship then don't do anything.

From experience, saying something to him will get you no-where and he's likely to ignore you or indeed "step it up" as he'll think hes hit a nerve.

My DD used to come home and say that her dad hated my DH......our response was "oh that's a shame because he really doesn't know him. But not to worry DH thinks your daddy is a nice person and a good daddy." - that got back and soon nipped it in the bud!

Yes, you are probably right about the fact that he would love to think he has hit a nerve.

I will continue to ignore...and hope that DS draws his own conclusions as he gets older.

Don't react. He sounds like a grade A cock

If you ask him to stop this it's likely to escalate into another argument. I wouldn't engage. And I think this advice is spot-on:

My DD used to come home and say that her dad hated my DH......our response was "oh that's a shame because he really doesn't know him. But not to worry DH thinks your daddy is a nice person and a good daddy." - that got back and soon nipped it in the bud!

That's a great way to react. It doesn't dismiss anyone's feelings, it shows your child how to be the better person, and most importantly it doesn't give your ex anything to use to escalate the issue!

Definitely deal with it with your DS as suggested above.

Ads for your ex, you could try and turn it back on him 'DS has been saying some strange things about how some daddies are stronger than others and seems to think that you're worried about DH and comparing yourself to him! Just to let you know that I told him that was a silly way to think and daddies are grownups who don't worry about things like that'.

:)

Don't respond. He's just jealous really.

Another good response is teaching him in an age appropriate way, how it's wrong to make judgements when you don't have all the information.

A friend demonstrated this by putting some twigs in a really nice gift bag.. And some treats in a scruffy paperbag.

She asked her DD to choose one. Of course she choose the pretty looking one. Only to see the twigs. Cue disappointed look. Then she asked her to open the other one.

Her face lights up when she saw her favourite treats. She then explained how it was sometimes wrong to make a decision based on what you see from the outside.