Dating with kids...literally?!

[ScouseBird8364]

Have any of you guys ever met up for coffee and a chat with a potential date, whilst having your baby DC with you??

Just that really?!

I haven't personally, good luck though :)

Erm no. And is this a date with someone you know or a OLD? If it's the latter then you are off your rocker.

Erm, nope here too! I know babies wouldn't have any recollection but I just couldn't be those 2 different personas when my little one was so tiny.

I dated a man a while ago and he told me that he went on a date with someone who bought their toddler along, she then asked to go to a posh sushi bar and fed her child making him pay for it more fool him.

Anyway, I don't think it matters if the child is young enough not to really understand what's going.

Anyway, I don't think it matters if the child is young enough not to really understand what's going.

Unless they're a peadophile.

Basically if anyone asks to go on a date that involves theirs or my own kids, I see that as a massive red flag.

Maybe OP doesn't get any child free time? So does this mean she can't go on any dates until the child is old enough to be left at home?

FGS, don't bring your child/ren on dates until you are really sure who you are seeing and that the relationship is real.

It just sends the wrong messages to everyone involved. Your children will find it confusing. And the prospective date will too.

confusing and upsetting I mean (for the children)

Even very young children - toddlers - often have a "sense" of what is going on.

How young is the baby? Under 1, maybe. But if that young then you must only very recently have broken up with the baby's father? I'd leave it a while regardless until I had child free time available.

The only scenario I could see this being okish, is if you're both single parents and have all known each other for a good while already through schools or play-groups or something, and are anticipating having a coffee together or a picnic with the kids.

Anything else is very weird and inappropriate.

I've done it years ago my son was under 1 . It was fun

Think children first, there can be no excuses

My DP once went on an online date and the lady was 35+ weeks pregnant hadn't thought to mention it when they were chatting

Presumably the guy knows you will be turning up with a child.

Grim

Er that's weird as fuck

I did it once... Not on purpose!!! We'd been video calling for a month having met online, he had travelled over 200 miles to meet me, turned up a couple of hours early because he was trying to beat the traffic so he'd be on time so he had been waiting all that time.

My babysitter had to go into hospital at the last moment, there was nobody else, so I explained and he insisted he'd prefer if I'd turn up anyway and bring her. It went well, my kid is very well behaved in public, he was very eager to see me again and we dated a while.

Never ever arrange to do it though... That would be crazy. It's one thing as a last resort when the other person would prefer it to not meeting you having travelled a long way but it's not going to impress if you randomly turn up with a kid.

On the basis that it is literally 'coffee and chat' in a very public coffee establishment and language between you is suitable then I would see no real reason why not.
I took my baby DD to coffee mornings and I was not ravaged by marauding mothers. I am male!

Thanks for your replies guys, guess I'll be single for the rest of my days

Literally, and I mean literally, don't have anyone who can babysit etc., aah well

It's hard. I'm trying to date with 2 dc, they are with me most of the time, luckily they are school age but trying to arrange coffee dates in school time isn't easy as most people are at work. I don't see the problem in going on a coffee date with a baby, not as though your snogging in front of the child, just coffee with a friend.

I've been single since I was pregnant - it's not easy, but it's not single till the end of your days either! I've waited till ds is at school before I have got back into dating. It was too hard before that (I have no back up either) but also, it's worth it - the kids come first and it's made his home life utterly settled and secure. It's early days for you if you have a baby, you may just need to be patient

If you don't have anyone to babysit ever that means you will always have your child in tow. At a push as a one off you could do it if you had already met the guy and trusted him and he didn't mind. Otherwise I think it's a non starter.

Thanks for your replies guys, guess I'll be single for the rest of my days

How old is your child?

Pay a babysitter?

You and your baby are a 'package' and if you were to see the date again then you would ultimately involve the baby. It will also tell you a lot about how he might be with a baby that is not his. It may be a shock revelation and not get reported on MN but men can cope with babies. The only real 'issue' is they can't personally breastfeed.