Is this passive aggressive behaviour?

[Auserwithnoname]

I just want to talk through my day. If anyone has any thoughts I'd appreciate it so much. Today I was up at 6.30. I took my daughter swimming, left the house and was back at 10. Partner had said something about tidying up while we were gone, he did some washing up - but the house looked untidy on return. I slept for about an hour when I got back, which made us late for an event. I was desperately trying to organise us all to leave the house, but partner hang out washing - v slowly - while I went around getting everything ready and was stressed. Got to event and took daughter while he went to pub. He came back a bit drunk and my daughter didn't want to leave to go home. She had been given a chocolate bar which I said she could have once she was ready to leave. She had an almighty meltdown, shouted at me, hit me - so I picked her up and took her to car. She continued to scream, partner eventually came out. Sister comforted and reassured me. I drove home crying all the way. Partner has said nothing to me - all the way home and this evening. He put my daughter to bed.

My DH is a bit like yours, slow and very methodical in doing any task. It's just the way he is. It's not passive aggressive in his case, just a personality trait and desire to do things 'properly'. For example, if he hoovers the living room he moves all the furniture and uses all the proper hoover attachments, whereas I am more normal slapdash like you and just hoover the bits you can see.

It's frustrating at times because he takes longer than me to do jobs, but the way we work it is that he now does the jobs which require more precision or organisation. So Ironing, 'doing the finances', organising recycling, sorting insurance and the like, washing the cars, washing dishes, food shopping etc. I do the jobs where you can be slapdash - laundry, hoovering, tidying up etc.

Could you look at this type of arrangement? Sort of 'play to your strengths'? We are very happy and both pull our weight equally but just do different things.

Also, I know it's the classic mumsnet answer but could you get a cleaner?

Mister magpie - your DH hoovering is just like mine!!! He also likes hanging every individual sock on the line.

Sorry to hijack