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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Inappropriate content on device used by DC - advice please

60 replies

SaturdaySituation · 20/05/2017 09:26

Ex has a tablet that both the DC (8 and 2) use on a regular basis. It moves between the houses and I check it regularly to make sure it's being used for only what is allowed.

Checked it this morning and was greeted with a short video of Ex pleasuring himself. To make it worse, toddler DS was visible in the bed next to him, albeit asleep.

The stupid gobshite has the photos backed up to his personal email so all the photos/videos taken with his phone were going to the tablet as well.

I've turned the sync off so it won't happen in the future.

Do I leave it now or do I need to speak to him? DD plays apps/games that access photos on the tablet so it's quite possible that she would happen upon this video.

He's not usually an idiot or a shit parent so I'm a bit disappointed and also grossed out.

Advice please Sad Have name changed obvs but am a long time poster.

OP posts:
user1487175389 · 20/05/2017 10:11

Sounds like you're just going to 'speak to him' believe whatever bollocks he comes up with and stick your head in the sand. Your poor dcs. They deserve better than this. I wish I knew who he was I'd report him myself.

Topuptheglass · 20/05/2017 10:16

You're under reacting if anything Sad

Your poor toddler. I'm sure this isn't the first time this man has done this. What if your child had woken up & saw that? Doesn't bear thinking about, does it?

I can't believe he did this.

If I were you I'd be contacting health visitor/social services/nspcc for a steer on where to go from here.

I hope it gets sorted out Flowers

flibberdy · 20/05/2017 10:32

Yes I agree, check the recently deleted file and try to restore. Then phone NSPCC. They will guide you through what to do next.
Wine for you 😔

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 20/05/2017 10:39

I'm horrified. OP you only know a tiny bit because the twat left it for you too find. God knows what else he is doing around the children that isn't video taped or photographed.

I wouldn't be telling him I know either - what so he can delete evidence the creepy fucker.

Tollygunge · 20/05/2017 10:47

Grim

WatchingFromTheWings · 20/05/2017 10:50

I'd be taking that tablet straight round to the police. Even deleted, they can retrieve it. That's disgusting. As pp have suggested, it's probably been circulated.

Cricrichan · 20/05/2017 10:59

Take it round to the police so they can check his devices to see if the toddler sleeping next to him was inadvertent or not.

ASauvingnonADay · 20/05/2017 11:30

Definitely police.

AnyFucker · 20/05/2017 11:33

You are massively under reacting

This is a safeguarding issue. Speak to children's social services and do not tip him off before you do it.

SparklyMagpie · 20/05/2017 11:57

Get that tablet to the police and they can retrieve the deleted videos/pics.

I am absolutely disgusted. I wouldn't even bother talking to that vile creep, would only give him heads up to make sure he doesn't get caught again, and gives him chance to get rid of other videos ans photos he has

Im very worried that your children have most likely come across these as it was so easy for you to see it.

There is NO WAY on this earth i would be letting my children anywhere near him till the police investigated and even still after viewimg a disturbing video like that with my child lay asleep next to him, would my children be staying over there again

You NEED to react now, call NSPCC and get to the police station with the tablet, and do not tell him anything

Dobbyandme · 20/05/2017 12:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bloomed · 20/05/2017 13:01

OP this is your moment to rise to the occasion to protect your DC. Will you?

DearMrDilkington · 20/05/2017 13:07

Try to get the video back, inform social servives what you found and ask for their advice.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 20/05/2017 13:54

Exactly what AnyFucker said OP, it's definitely a safeguarding issue. Your poor bairns need their mum to step up here, and I'm sure you will. You and they will be ok.

OnTheRise · 20/05/2017 14:19

I've spoken to a friend who is an ex-police officer (specialised in child protection) and who now works in safeguarding.

She said to not say anything to him. Take the tablet to the police ASAP, tell them what you saw and what you've done, and let them deal with it.

This sounds serious to her, in all sorts of ways. The fact that he filmed himself like that with a child next to him; that it appeared when you turned the tablet on, so your children might well have seen it, or something like it: it's serious, it's illegal, and the police should know.

I hope you're ok.

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 20/05/2017 21:43

This has been on my mind all day. Will you come back, OP?

Ascot37 · 20/05/2017 21:50

I think you need to ask yourself if you are happy with your children staying with him in future, you need to report it.

Nanny0gg · 20/05/2017 22:28

so I'm a bit disappointed

Disappointed?

You should have been on the phone to the NSPCC for advice the second you saw it, not deleting and feeling 'disappointed'.

As you've deleted, you do need to phone the police to get what is probably evidence retrieved.

Scrumptiousbears · 20/05/2017 22:54

This is a police matter. This type of video is loved by child sex abusers. I'm sorry OP the seriousness must come as a chick to you.

Scrumptiousbears · 20/05/2017 22:54

*shock

BoudiccasHare · 20/05/2017 22:57

Please get help and alert the correct authorities asap. This is a safeguarding issue for sure.

Wondermoomin · 20/05/2017 23:03

I hope the absence of the OP is because she's dealing with things and not because she's burying her head in the sand. Those kids Sad

BertieBotts · 20/05/2017 23:08

OP, is it your ex who has always said you overreact to things?

Because this is really not an overreaction.

JaneEyre70 · 20/05/2017 23:09

OP I think by now you will have seen how others have reacted to this...and that you need professional advice on this. I'd take it straight into your local Police station or go to Social Services. This isn't about a sync issue, this is about safeguarding your children. You are their protection, and you need to act on this.

MaverickSnoopy · 20/05/2017 23:14

I have just read this and burst into tears. Possibly an overreaction on my part; or possibly not. Please tell me you're doing something about this.