Help! My libido seems to have left on the last train.

[Chloe55]

Can't be bothered to name change.

Short summary :

Been married 3 years, have a 14mth ds, am overweight by about 1.5stone, have zero energy after a day of nursing/house work/childcare etc. Basically the last thing on my mind is getting intimate with dh because I can't be bothered I just seem to have lost all interest. I love him dearly so why do I feel like this?

He mentioned last night that we are going to have a romantic night tonight and I am just thinking oh god, do we ahve to? (Obviously didn't say that, I just smiled sweetly and agreed)

Don't know why I am posting this - no idea if anyone can help but thought it was worth a shot to see if anyone had any ideas/been through similar and come out the other side?

i'l bump for you. You're not the only one. Also try serach prev. messages for libido. Bet you'll get loads of past threads

are you on the pill?

exercising is the first step I think

hi - are you on the pill? can make a difference!

Hi
I am the same as you. I have 3 kids, one 5 disabled, one 3 and one 1.5. I cannot seem to jump back to the person I was before the kids came along. I find it really difficult to switch from being 'mummy' to 'woman who is remotly horny'. My poor dh is sooooo patient to the point of deserving a medal, but I just have absolutely no interest whatsoever in the thing between his legs!!!!. Obviously can't offer any advice. Often wondered if I was a bit post natal, but am probably just looking for an excuse!

Funny thing is MP I have really bumped up my exercise, I have started running 4/5 times a week when I can fit it in. I enjoy it but I think it is mainly because it is 'me' time - it doesn't seem to have helped with the energy levels though, if anything I'm more tired.

I am on the pill, have been for 10yrs (other than for a couple of yesrs when I was TTC and PG) Same pill as always too. I often wonder whether it might be this - I might discuss it with my GP.

Like you Magsi, my dh is very patient too which just makes me feel worse I think.

I don't know whether I am just going through a bit of a rough time at the mo with fatigue and stress due to money worries etc but I just seem sad a lot at the moment and can't really put my finger on why. I have had 4 migraines in as many weeks aswell which is not helping matters at all

I really really need a relaxing holiday, hey ho.

have a look at this thread then

it really helped me!

hi yes i'm the same
magsi ive talked to you on the sn board
dd1,8,disabled,dd2,4.5, not disabled but extremely demanding personality.

it cant be postntal, i am no more horny now than the day after they were born and the last one's coming up to 5!like magsi said, just 'absolutely no interest' and like chloe55 said, when dh mentions it in advance, you spend all that day dreading it and thinking 'oh no do we have to!' (and just smiling and nodding instead, because not doing it just isnt worth the moodiness etc.!)
maybe there isn't anything wrong with any of us, maybe this is perfectly normal? it's just that nowadays, it's pushed in your face all the time like it's normal to be a nympho,(and that also goes for being size 0, not having wrinkles and all the other garbage) maybe we are ALL JUST NORMAL FOR THE SITUATION WE ARE IN.

also, because men never talk to each other honestly like we do, i think dh and other peoples dh, think all the other men are getting it every night! because they dont talk, they compete. if truth be told, how often is average i wonder, when you've been together ages, you've got kids/jobs/pressures/money etc. that takes up all your time.
i too have started exercising to release stress and hopefully look/feel better, but it hasn't made any difference to libido. like chloe55 said, it's enjoyables because it's 'me time' that's all!
i havent been on the pill of any kind for years, can that make libido drop?chloe55 sounds v.similar to me, with overweight, migraines, no energy, no libido. i think it's just the situation: when i was young, free, single and thin,with only myself to think about, i was interested in sex then.

Hi Chloe,

I found that indulging in a bit of 'Nike sex' (i.e. just do it) really works wonders. It's so hard to do in the first place when you really don't feel like it, but I have definitely found that once you do it, it reawakens something and just makes you think about sex more.
So if you can stomach it, just do it and then hopefully next time you'll actually want to!