Feeling hurt but am I being silly?

[twomuchbooze]

Hi, I have a friend who when we first got together was always texting me and stuff and now it seems to be me making the first contact all the time. She used to call me her best friend and I wasn't so sure, then I got to know her more and yes I think of her as my best friend now. However, she now has a new friend and her husband also gets on with the new friends husband and they seem to do a lot together and I'm getting left out. I have no problem with her having other friends, I do too, its just that this new friend seems to be taking my place in her affections. This sounds pathetic I know - we are both grown women not teenagers - both have children, she has 3 I have 2. But its hard not to feel hurt and let down - I'm even considering just backing off and leaving her to it. Am I just being completely stupid?

not stupid, but a bit daft maybe. as for backing off and leaving her to it - you are a bit old to be playing 'if youre her friend i wont be yours'! why not invite her and the other woman for a coffee, see how you all get on? its not good to be too dependent on one person. a wider social circle is more healthy.

Things like this really get to me too. Try not to dwell on it though, its probably nothing personal, she's probably just enjoying having another couple to do stuff with. I know I'd love to have another couple me & dh could socialise with but we tend to have our own groups of friends. Just keep in touch with her as usual & I bet things will be fine between you - sometimes the novelty of a new friendship wears off after a while too!?

I do kind of agree with you, but I can't help feeling hurt. She has not once invtied me out with her and this new friend, but I always involve her with my other friends. She seems to delight in telling me when they are meeting up and it feels like she is rubbing my nose in it. I think the main problem is that I put my trust in her and have told her things - I'm worried that she'll tell this new friend stuff about me - I don't feel like I can trust her anymore because I feel let down. She was the only friend that i told lots of personal stuff to and now i feel i don't have that anymore. Sorry its a bit of a ramble.

I do know how you feel, I've got friends who don't invite me to things or don't make as much effort as I do to maintain the friendship. I just keep doing what I do - include them in things & initiate get togethers & there are times when they "come through" for me & I'm glad I've not let the friendship drift.

Its unlikely she'd tell her new friend all your personal stuff, surely she'd realise her new mate would think she was a gossip & not to be trusted!?

Hope so, thanks for replying. I will just carry on being me!!

Organise some stuff with other friends to remind yourself you've got other mates & so you've got some stuff to tell her about when you see her! Hope it all works out.