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Original poster

Just a bit of a W*nker

8 replies

user1494624186 · 13/05/2017 22:06

Just trying to get a feel whether I've flown off the handle a bit tonight.
Been feeling a bit low and stressed out the last few weeks and in one of those 'nit picking' frames of mind.
So in a row with DH it came out that he's a bit of a wanker. And I think does it most days. I feel a bit put out by that. Our sex life has dropped off a bit and become a bit samey.
Am I ok to feel put out by it or do I need to get a bit of a grip?

OP posts:
Berrie1 · 13/05/2017 22:12

I imagine a lot of guys will wank most days, I don't think it is uncommon; however, if it is starting to affect your sex life then you need to have chat with him.

scottishdiem · 13/05/2017 22:15

become a bit samey

I'd have a chat about it when you have come out of that nit picking mood you are in. Perhaps he is wanking cause you have become a bit samey in bed as well.

josuk · 14/05/2017 00:56

Yes, you have

Masturbation is healthy and provides release. Many men and women enjoy doing it. And frequency depends on many things - mood, health, etc....
If his frequency increased as sex became less imaginative - it is more likely a consequence, not a cause.
In other words, a release. Totally harmless ana healthy.

Masturbation is not a substitute for sex life, it's something that runs in parallel.

Responsibility for your 'samey' sex life does not only lay on your husband. You are there too.
So - you both need to try figuring out how to fix it.

shitgibbon · 14/05/2017 01:29

Masturbation and sex are entirely different things. He can do it every day and still have sex with you -- the issue is that you need to talk to him about how you feel about sex and what you'd like to change. Doesn't matter how often he wanks.

Guavaf1sh · 14/05/2017 08:18

Sounds like you were in a mood for a fight after some stress at work and decided to take it out on your husband because he happened to mention in a conversation that he masturbates, which most people do. You then complained about your sex life. You should not deal with stress by insulting and belittling others

TheStoic · 14/05/2017 08:29

What was the row about? Unless it was about sex, it seems like a strange thing to...come up in an argument?

user1479302027 · 14/05/2017 08:49

If he does it every day he is probably thinking that he doesn't want to pester you all the time.
Re samey sex - if he wants it every day, it can become hard to initiate because of waiting for the other to be in the right physical mood. I think you might benefit from being creative and setting the tone. It will create a permissive environment. Ask him to think of things!

If I thought dp was up for it every day (ok ok, twice a dayBlush) I would choose that option over going solo. As it is, it is a way of not going crazy/being unreasonable. It is not something that should be held against anyone.

Original poster
user1494624186 · 14/05/2017 08:52

Thanks for the opinions guys.
We are in the process of selling and buying a house, so it has been stressful but you are all right, we need to sit down and chat about it. And I need to take responsibility.
I've just been feeling a bit insecure and then this has kinda of added to my insecurity that I'm not good enough x
Have a good day guys x

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