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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hold my hand

20 replies

user128057 · 13/05/2017 00:25

Me and my boyfriend have just broken up and I'm heartbroken. I said things I massively regret. He's blocked my number and on Facebook. Don't know what else to write

OP posts:
anon1987 · 13/05/2017 00:59

Il hold your hand Flowers
What were the things you said op?

Asmoto · 13/05/2017 01:01

Oh, dear OP. Had you been together long?

Offred · 13/05/2017 01:11

Were the things you said how you actually feel?

Original poster
user128057 · 13/05/2017 01:34

I pretty much said he was a disgrace, that I was the only one who had ever had his back and this is how he repays me by talking to me like dirt. I called him a few names and basically said he needed to man up. I said all this in a fit of anger. We had been speaking for 3 years but got together as a couple in October. I want him to forgive me but doesn't look like it's gonna happen.

OP posts:
anon1987 · 13/05/2017 01:39

Maybe it's for the best op.
If after less then a year you're already having major rows, then it would only get worse if you stayed together.
Concentrate on you, it's not worth your time and energy when it's supposed to be the best years of your relationship.

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 01:40

If it's meant to be, he'll come to you.

Original poster
user128057 · 13/05/2017 01:54

It's all my fault. We are 4hrs apart I'm so tempted to drive up and sort things out. I just can't leave it like this. I've caused so much trouble and I won't ever forgive myself

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 13/05/2017 02:01

Don't drive up.

Are you in the uk?

Honestly, don't even think about contacting him until the morning, if then tbh.

You've hurt him, and he doesn't want to talk, you should respect that.

Original poster
user128057 · 13/05/2017 02:09

Yes I'm in the UK. I do respect it but then again he's called me names before and I've not blocked him on anything. He's called me a fucking daft bitch, a fucking dickhead etc.

OP posts:
pog100 · 13/05/2017 05:01

Then why is it all your fault?

TheNaze73 · 13/05/2017 07:45

He's not interested. Learn from it & move on

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 13/05/2017 07:46

Why do you want to be with someone who speaks to you so badly? 🤔

WateryTart · 13/05/2017 07:47

In a few weeks' time you'll see this as a lucky escape.

Fabulousdahlink · 13/05/2017 08:00

If you spoke from the heart, and he has called you all those names in the past, you are listening to your internal dialogue which steers you true.
Dont settle for a man who does not deserve your love. The other posters are right- dont go, dont contact. You are worthy of love..from someone who truely loves you. Dont settle for an unhappy relationship because you dont want to be lonely.
After many years of being unhappy and lonely in a marriage with a man who did not respect me I realise I enabled him to get away with the namecalling and bad behaviour. I now know I am worth more than that and I deserve better. A good relationship with myself is better than a bad relationship with someone else who does not value you.
Good luck..and be brave again. You've got this x

Original poster
user128057 · 13/05/2017 10:55

Thanks for the support everyone. My head is all over the place so apologies if I'm drip feeding. I'm in a wheelchair and the thought of having to find someone who accepts it frightens me to death. He may not have been nice to me all the time but at least he was accepting of it.

OP posts:
Guiltypleasures001 · 13/05/2017 11:09

Lovely he wasn't accepting of it, you were accepting him on the basis it's all you could get or deserved.
He doesn't deserve you 💐

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 11:17

Op you deserve so much better Then him. Wheelchair or no wheelchair it makes no difference. He sounds very abusive.

FlossyMooToo · 13/05/2017 11:21

OP have you posted before about your parents not allowing you to visit him on your own?
Sorry if its not you.

Original poster
user128057 · 13/05/2017 12:04

Yes that was me. I've given him so much. I've kept a roof over his head, food in his belly, I paid for his family's Christmas presents, I've helped him when he hasn't had a pot to piss in and this is how he repays me.

OP posts:
FlossyMooToo · 13/05/2017 12:48

You need to walk away. You deserve better and you can do better Flowers

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