Manipulative ex and Cafcass

[mlp3282]

My exh is extremely manipulative to the point that he has even convinced solicitors his lies are true! I had my appointment at Cafcass and the officer decided from what I was saying that my ex was narcisstic (possibly spelt wrong). I have no experience of what this is so not sure if she is right. Anyway two days later he had his appointment with cafcass and I am now really scared he will have manipulated the cafcass officer. Can anyone reassure me or could this really happen.

Any help/advice/comments gratefully received.

Sounds like she has already got him sussed which is great for you!!
Don't be worried about going through all the reports and questioning absolutely anything that is wrong. .
Good luck.

I had a similar situation.
DD working with CAMHS over extreme anxiety around contact with exh. He had managed to convince all his family etc that it was me making it up and it was my fault. Due to prev gas lighting I had doubts myself.
However, CAMHS therapist saw straight through him, we had one joint session where she basically just ripped apart all his lies by questioning and questioning, getting right to the bottom of it being him that was the issue. Professionals are trained to see through.
Also, CAFCASS will be impartial. His solicitor is being paid by him so will believe anything he says (they might not actually believe him but are paid to act like it).

When you say 'he even convinced solicitors' - his or yours. Remember his are there to represent him and will put his point across regardless.

I'm sure cafcass are pretty clued up on manipulative people, I know it's easy to say but try not to stress too much, you have done your best.

he manipulated mine so she no longer acts for me.

I had a new solicitor and he tried with her also.

Just be truthfully and put the children's needs first and they have seen it all before.

What happened with your solicitor? Did he contact her directly and on that basis she dropped you? Doesn't sound professional at all.

OP let me now if you want the name if a fab solicitor who seems to be able to sniff out these sorts of abusers. I've been in your position and finally have a solicitor that I can trust. She's based in London

CAFCASS are not psychologists and should not be making any sort of diagnosis, especially when tensioning are running high. If the officer is concerned that his behaviours may negatively impact the children then she can recommend a psychological evaluation.

Solicitors don't "believe lies", they represent their clients, which means taking what the client says, giving advice and following instructions. It is very, very odd that your solicitor dropped you because of his attempts to manipulate. Even if he was making wild allegations like you abusing the children, your solicitor is there to act for you, not to act as a judge and decide she doesn't want to represent you anymore.

How did he manipulate your solicitor? Sounds completely unethical and I hope you put in a complaint.

As others have said, just focus on acting in the best interests of the children.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, it is very unfair.

Your solicitor has not dropped you because of his manipulation. That's a breach of the code of conduct. There is another reason. Solicitors don't just 'drop' their clients. I am a family solicitor and we deal with alsorts of odd people on the opposing side of the case. To be honest if they're manipulative we can usually spot that pretty quickly. It's a point that bolsters the clients case, not a reason to drop it. I can't think that I've ever binned off a client apart from when I've become aware they've lied to me and are asking me to mislead a court. That's called professional embarrassment and we cannot continue to act when that happens