Can someone just help me to sleep? Anyone up?

[PennyDreadfull]

I posted a couple of weeks ago that I had discovered my husband had an affair.
He swears it's now over, she meant nothing, he just succumbed to infatuation etc.
He's trying to win me back. Quit his job. Changed his number. Blocked the slag.
Tells me every day how desperately sorry he is. How much he hates himself.
How much he adores me.
I am giving him another chance and trying to forgive him. We are back living together.

At first I was angry at her.
But now, 3 weeks on, the anger for him is beginning.

I just want to scream and punch him all the time. I want to smash things up. I want to kick doors in.
Is this normal?

I can't sleep the last few nights. Been prescribed Diazepam for anxiety but I don't want to become addicted. I'm only using them in emergencies.

I honestly cannot sleep a wink. He's snoring away.
Last night I got about maybe 2 and a half hours.

It's now almost 2 am and I'm not going to get any sleep any time soon.
I also have fever like symptoms, shivers, aches, a cough, headache.

Is this normal? Is it down to stress?

Can SOMEONE just send me peaceful and constructive thoughts?

Thank you you too

Hopefully someone more qualified will be along soon, but didn't want to read and run. I wouldn't be surprised if you're run down due to sress, perhaps some pain killers and a hot drink will help? If you're awake thinking about things making you angry I sometimes find writing what I'm thinking about down, what you're angry about, what you want answers too Etc. You could also try some mind blanking and breathing exercises to help you relax, I'm sure you can find tips online. Sorry I couldn't be more help but hope you get some sleep soon.

I agree with MadameS,
Now is not the time to deal with it as I agree everything can seem much worse at night as there is nobody to talk to and your mind starts working overtime if you can't sleep.
Maybe have a glass of warm milk.
I'm not medically trained but maybe you should make a appointment with your GP and tell him/her how angry you feel .
Sending you my good thoughts.
Xx

I have just read back through your previous threads as I thought I recognised your name.

The reason your H is laying there asleep is because, quite frankly, he's got away with his bloody awful behaviour and isn't remorseful in the slightest, hence having a very peaceful nights sleep whilst you're laying there in a heap of hurt, anger, dismay, anxiety etc etc

He even continued to text the OW after you found out and admitted he loved her and didn't love you anymore.

So other than leaving his job and supposedly cutting contact what is he doing when he's awake to help you to not be distraught and break down the house?

Is he transparent with all of his emails and laptop/ social media accounts? I know he has a new number but that's not enough. I take it the night time walking has stopped? And the sleeping in the spare room tapping on his phone?? I hope so.

That trust has been shattered. Piecing back a shattered vase would be an extremely difficult task, and it would take a really long time, if fixable at all. It's been three weeks. Those shattered pieces are barely even pieced together. It's going to take a very long time to even begin to try and feel better.
The stages of recovery from deceit are long and drawn out.

Shock
Hurt
Disbelief
Anger
Obsession
More hurt and disbelief
Round and round in circles..

Three weeks? He should be doing everything in his power to help you through this.

Wake the bastard up. He should be holding you in his arms and reassuring you. If he is serious that is.

I am now 6 months down the line, in my case an EA/heavweight crush from many years ago, but only found out late last year due to not throwing away the stuff he wrote about it. My first instance was to stay stuff you Im leaving, my husband seemed to not be that remorseful. We have now had many conversations since and he realises the devastation he left me with. He also says he didnt know "how" to show verbally that he was remorseful apart from sorry as its not something he has done before or since. He is going to go to IC--his choice, , I have been and actually concluded for me IC was more to rant and get it off my chest, be told I wasnt mad!! for him its to get to the bottom of underlying issues with regards to coping in appropriate ways with stressful situations and anger management. Im still not 100% on the trust front and am hyper vigilant , I dont think I ever will be as trusting as I was, maybe thats no bad thing, , but I do realise that if I had left, then I take the hurt with me and put myself in a bad financial place too, so my view at the moment is see how it goes. Time makes a difference, certainly at the up to 2 months point I could barely function and basically wanted to smash his face in to be honest as it was someone we knew well . I had to stay in a lot because if we went out I usually ended up in tears at some point. Now the thoughts are still there, but I can function.

I am literally so unhappy.
Yes he's completely cut off contact. Says he despises her now because the last 4 weeks have made him think deeply about what real love is and how much I actually mean to him.
He's absolutely 100% honest and open with his passwords etc. Came off Facebook.
Says he won't even have a phone if it will make me feel better.

I just can't stop crying. I'm crying every hour. So about 12 times per day.
I'm on my period right now though. Lol