Bit of a d**k?

[Bakerzs]

A guy work friend and I had feelings for each other when we shouldn't have a few months ago, he had a girlfriend but we both said it was silly and he shouldn't be liking someone else etc so we moved on and stayed friends. It was the elephant in the room for a long time though!

Anytime he's drunk he will bring it up though, which I know is just drunk talk I know.

I'm with someone else now and I'm happy, however still good friends with said guy and sometimes he flirts with me etc which makes me angry as I don't want to ever go back to having those feelings for him as it caused me so much pain the last time. I really had it bad back then and felt so guilty for telling him I had feelings for him, it was after he had told me but still, I wish I never did tell him it was mutual. We both beat ourselves up over it and rightly so.

Anyway that's all in the past now but...he has started flirting so obviously with the girl who sits beside me. Even when she isn't around, he will be telling me how hot she is etc. Now I know you will think this is jealousy but it really isn't and it makes me sooo uncomfortable to the point that I cringe for him.

It's made me realise what a idiot I was for liking him in the first place and how lucky I was I never crossed a line with him so it kind of makes me feel good and bad at the same time! But it's really making me uneasy in my job, having to sit in the middle of them literally as he is begging for her attention. I don't care if they are flirting, it just that I have to be there for it if you know what I mean.She's a hilarious girl and I get on really well with her, we laugh all day long!

Is it strange that I feel uncomfortable with it?

I just feel a little silly as he knows I liked him once and now I have to laugh along with them as they flirt outrageously with each other. I went to lunch with him today and he actually even said he nearly got a boner in the office because of her!I cringed! I wanted to say, you are such a player and so vulgar about it, I thought you were a nice guy but if i say anything negative it will look like I'm jealous. He's talking to me as if I was one of the lads.

Yes I suppose I care if I am writing about it here and feeling uncomfortable with it but it has really given me the sense of, oh my God why did you ever like this guy in the first place!? It's his girlfriend I feel the most sorry for, he doesn't cheat on her but my god does he like to get his ego stroked!

Sorry for long post!

Kind of sounds to me like he is trying to make you jealous.

Bullet dodged. Rise above it.

It sounds to me as though you are cross with yourself for having liked a man who, it turns out, is a bit of a plonker.

I think I would go with cool detachment around him from now on. Just concentrate on your work - show him through your actions that he's an irrelevance for you.

Definitely dodged a bullet!

He likes attention. You're giving it to him by looking uncomfortable. Just try and ignore it. Look bored and with eyes glazed when he talks about your colleague and hell soon get bored.

Your friendship has run its course. Don't have lunch with him anymore, for starters.

It sounds very juvenile. I'm sure you're better than that.

Why are you bothering to even be around him for drinks and lunches? He says something like I got hard because of this girl, you say don't say things like that to me, I don't want to hear it, you are crossing a line . Then leave.

If he and the other girl are fawning over each other with you in the middle, then move away, have lunch elsewhere. Why would you be doing this to yourself?

He absolutely did not "beat himself up over it" last time.
He's an arsehole who treats his girlfriend like shit.
Why are you going out drinking with him at all?
I would distance yourself from this 'friendship' - because you're not making a good choice about friends here.
It's all about his ego and drama. You can opt out of that.
Shame on the other woman, for flirting with him. She wouldn't be my choice of friend either.

He isn't your friend, he's the office sleaze who tried it on with you, failed and is now trying his luck with his next target. You've fortunately dodged a bullet, but you have to feel sorry for the poor girlfriend. I would have as little to do with him as possible from now on and let your colleague know he's like it with every woman in the office.

I try my best to laugh it all off as he stands by my desk and starts a conversation with me and then involves her so I'm literally in the middle. So it is at my work desk,m this happens.He is always coming over to talk to me and there is 4 of us who sonetimes hang out on lunch. The drinks thing would be work nights etc with loads of us there.If I suddenly stopped hanging out with my friends in work it would seem strange, I don't want to loose other friends due to this silliness but he has definitely gone down massively in my estimations. Learnt some valuable lessons.

You can actually just tell him to stop coming by your desk to chat. You are at work to work.

If you don't want to do that for whatever reason, as soon as he starts talking to the other colleague, go to the loo or do some shredding. Physicaly move out of the situation.

Can you wear headphones to stop him talking to you and say you are busy if he tries to interrupt your work?

I absolutely hated a man I worked with once. We were a very small and sociable office so used to all go out together. I managed everytime to avoid him or avoid prolonged interractions with him. I sat at the other end of the table, struck up conversations with the person the otherside if I was next to him. I'd pass a few pleasantries his way but any conversation was very superficial and I'd use going to the loo/popping to get some water or whatever to get out of that too.

Just avoid him in anyway you can.

Yep can wear headphones, I do a lot of the time, he will literally cone up behind me and bang on my desk so it's hard to ignore and of course I don't want to make a big deal out of it, no one would know I was uncomfortable, il a good little actress. Its getting easier now even just a getting opinions on here so thanks!