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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What is he really doing tonight?

15 replies

BoccadiLupa · 09/05/2017 21:30

My DP is out tonight at a fancy restaurant. He says it is a work thing, him and one other person (a client) but there's something in my gut which tells me there is something wrong. We don't live together so I can't see what he is like when he gets home. I can't really tell you why I have this odd feeling other than he rang me up and invited me out to lunch today (something he never does) and then was all odd, really nervy. I joked 'are you meeting another woman tonight?' and he said yes, then 'no, of course not'. There's nothing I can do to find out is there? I have DC in bed so cannot go on a stalking adventure...

OP posts:

TreeTop7 · 09/05/2017 21:33

Do you think he intended to break up with you at lunch, but failed to pluck up the courage?

There's not a lot to go on, really. Given that you don't cohabit he doesn't need to lie about where he is and with whom - he could have said nothing at all and you'd be none the wiser.

TheNewSchmoo · 09/05/2017 21:35

Not every man ever is a cheat. Poor sod. I would take a client to a posh restaurant, not the local beefeater. I wouldn't sleep with them.

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 09/05/2017 21:35

Call/text him when he gets in?

Original poster

BoccadiLupa · 09/05/2017 21:37

All good points. I'm not usually paranoid. You're right - no reason to lie. Maybe I'm a bit hormonal. Will text him later.

OP posts:

JK1773 · 09/05/2017 21:38

Why don't you trust him? How long have you been together? He's told you where he is.

LunchBoxPolice · 09/05/2017 21:39

Has he ever given you reason not to trust him?

ImperialBlether · 09/05/2017 21:40

Does he have to take clients for meals regularly? It seems odd to do that at night unless the client was visiting from another area.

jeaux90 · 09/05/2017 21:55

Perfectly normal taking clients for dinner in my business. Is this normal in his?

HildaOg · 09/05/2017 21:57

I always listen to my gut, it's really just your subconscious picking up body language and other signals from him that we often don't notice consciously. My gut has always been right, probably so is yours.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 09/05/2017 22:09

Do you normally speak to him when he's not with you, eg would he phone you when he got home normally? I think you can tell a lot from his demeanour and how he talks or evades talking about his evening.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 09/05/2017 22:11

If you're usually an intuitive person you will have picked up something about his behaviour earlier - trust your gut. If there was nothing odd you wouldn't have thought twice about it. Complete paranoia out of nowhere doesn't make sense. And he initially said yes, then no to it being a woman? WTF?!

shyturnip · 10/05/2017 01:17

How long have you been together? This is important in gauging the situation

user1486956786 · 10/05/2017 01:58

Is it normal for him to take clients out? Maybe the client is attractive and female and there's nothing more to it but he's just freaking out because he knows it would make you uncomfortable? Rather than if it was with a bloke.

crankyfranky · 10/05/2017 02:55

I had this 'gut feeling' years ago & almost text book pre-guilt visit from my ex who delivered flowers to me at work & then hugged me awkwardly goodbye.
I was stewing at home as I knew in my stomach that something was going on so I turned up at his house unexpectedly later that night & sure enough there was another woman there.
When something feels like it's not right, it's not right!

MermaidsTears · 11/05/2017 19:43

It could be he is meeting and attractive client and feels bad about it or worried you'll not be pleased
(It's common in my DP work to take clients out at night and sometimes to extremely posh and expensive places)
But also bear in mind sometimes we inexplicably have a gut feeling that something isn't right and sadly sometimes it's not right.
Is there no other way for you to find out?
Must be so frustrating to have sleeping DC because I would be doing some serious stalking now if it were me

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