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Original poster

Birthday morning

24 replies

Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 07:54

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend of three years, not living together, went home and didn't wake up with you on your birthday?

They spent the Friday taking you to the oub to celebrate, went home the Saturday afternoon then came back on the Sunday afternoon (1pm) ( birthday) and took you out for a meal and stayed over that evening. Bought some lovely presents.

Would it bother you?

OP posts:
Shayelle · 09/05/2017 07:58

No, he sounds lovely! Whats your issue?

Fluffybrain · 09/05/2017 07:58

Yes I would be bothered if there was no good reason e.g he was working.

TheNaze73 · 09/05/2017 07:59

No but, it obviously bothers you & you cannot argue a feeling.

Is there any bigger issues in the relationship causing the neediness?

Joysmum · 09/05/2017 08:00

If I read this right, you'd have celebrated the birthday twice with him. Once at the pub and once again going out for a meal on the day?

MirandaWest · 09/05/2017 08:02

VWhen I wasn't living with DH, I don't think we woke up with each other on either of our birthdays. My dc would have been with me though so I wouldn't have been on my own.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 08:24

Guess I just get annoyed that we don't live together as saving for a house.

It seems to be taking ages.

OP posts:
Shayelle · 09/05/2017 08:43

Perhaps hes worried about moving in with you Wink

Floggingmolly · 09/05/2017 08:45

What exactly is bothering you? That you didn't spend every moment of the day together?

foodiefil · 09/05/2017 08:47

Yes I'd be bothered. What was the reason for not staying? Did he need to get you your presents on the Sunday morning as the shops opened at 11...?

iamreginaphalange · 09/05/2017 08:54

No... if he'd taken you out over weekend and bought you gifts etc....

What exactly is bothering you?

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 09:01

No he had already given me presents.

I guess it just highlights that we don't live together yet.

I know I was being silly but I just couldn't helped being slightly irked.

My first text was an abusive one from my ex so I guess I started the day bad.

OP posts:
foodiefil · 09/05/2017 09:07

If your ex of more then three years ago - presumably - is still sending abuse then you should tell the police. It's harassment!

foodiefil · 09/05/2017 09:07

*than

IAmTheWorwax · 09/05/2017 09:09

Why did he not stay the night? Valid excuse or just couldn't be arsed?
He sounds nice enough with what you've said so far

FinallyHere · 09/05/2017 09:16

Would you have preferred the 'wake up on my birthday together' to the dinner the day before (or whatever)? Maybe you might factor that in if anything similar ever happens again. If you were happy with the plans as they stood, but then wanted 'wake up together' as well, then... you have something to look forward to, when you do live together. Focus on making that happen..

[full disclosure I marked my diary for every night we slept in the same bed and woke up together, until we moved in together, so i get that it is important].

user1486956786 · 09/05/2017 09:19

Don't take it out on him though that you are frustrated

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 11:36

I normally don't even care about my Birthday.

Ex of three years, yes long story.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 09/05/2017 11:39

Why didn't he stay on Saturday night? That seems odd for a couple having to live apart. And yes, I would have thought he'd be there in the morning to celebrate.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 11:55

Today 11:39 ImperialBlether

Why didn't he stay on Saturday night? That seems odd for a couple having to live apart. And yes, I would have thought he'd be there in the morning to celebrate.

Thanks I am trying to work out if I am unreasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 12:39

Finallyhere

Thabks for your comments and understanding.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 12:45

His excuse was

He needed to see his Mother ( valid)
Do washing ( valid)

Hadn't taken part in his ' hobby ' all weekend as he had been with me and its not at my house.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 09/05/2017 13:04

Why do you see it as an excuse? Hobbies & time alone & with friends are just important as time together. Have you got many more years of saving until you have your deposit?
For what it's worth, he sounds like a good egg, with his priorities in the right order. Don't blame him for the situation as others heave said.

IAmTheWorwax · 09/05/2017 13:22

Hmm I'd be a bit meffed but I think you are going to have to get over it. He's put effort in for your birthday and that's all you can ask for really.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 09/05/2017 17:19

I am over it now. Yes guess you are right.

OP posts:
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