will this stage end & how did you stay strong??

[lovecamping]

I'm in the beginning stages of separating from DH.. we're seeing a counsellor but either of us feel there is any hope left. I do still love him and he says he loves me but either can see a away forward.

We've got here because he did something, made promises to stop but would just do it again behind my back with his best mate. Then life events happened & I felt abandoned - too long a story.

I feel like an emotional wreck, constantly crying & heartbroken. Completely overwhelmed & scared. I'll be leaving financial security & a very nice lifestyle... but don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

Please please tell me that this will pass..

It certainly will pass.
If I were you, I'd stop the counselling. Why be counselled about a relationship you need to end?
Feeling that you 'love each other' is common enough at the end of a relationship.
I don't know what he got up to with his mate but he certainly didn't love you enough to stop.
Accept that you will still have feelings for him, positive and negative.
Sack the couples counselling, get counselling for yourself.
Move on.

What practical issues do you have to deal with? House? Children? Get these things sorted and have a fresh start without him.

I've been slowing doing my research. Still need to find out about benefits.. whereas he hasn't thought about anything. Friends have given me loads of advice about how it might work logistically. Been slowing putting money aside too.

Thank you! i think it's the rejection, after 15 years of marriage. It's amazing that I never knew this man..

love no one is strong all the time - its up and down - some moments easier some harder.

take each day a step at a time - or a minute at a time if a day is too difficult.

take time to give something nice to yourself and reward yourself for getting this far - and not still being stuck in the past.

be as kind to yourself with that voice in your mind as you would with your very best friend.

someone can't reject you - unless you give them permission to...

learn to love the love you are.

Thanks rizlett, 3 kids & house.. it's become the first think on my mind in the mornings & last thing I think about.
I know I shouldn't rush the process but I'm just desperate to want out.
Kids feelings everything but not told anything yet.

I'm shocked at how emotional I am - how weak I feel in that I would let him walk over me to have things the way they used to be...