Husband has left, utterly devastated

[yoomoo]

And I just don't know what to do with myself. We've been married 18 months, together for 4 years before that. He walked out 3 weeks ago after he seemingly snapped after I pushed too much about having a baby. I deeply regret being so pushy but in my defence I am struggling with depression (and have been for the last 12 months which has damaged our marriage) which causes me to obsess in an unhealthy way. Now I've had a few weeks on my own I can see I've gone about things completely wrong. DH asked to meet me on Friday and told me he'd decided we shouldn't be together anymore. I'm absolutely devastated and would like to try and make it work but I dont know if things have gone too far now.
I don't really know why I'm posing I suppose just to chat to others and ask what I should be doing? I keep just randomly bursting into tears, no idea how I am going to work tomorrow. No children involved, just a dog who is now feeling like a gigantic responsibility all on my own. Please help!

Are you getting any help with depression?
Have you got any friends/family to support you?
Has he found your depression hard to deal with? My DH has suffered mental health issues for several years and I have found on many occasions that I need space from him.

I think you need to give him more time and perhaps suggest counselling together.

How did your depression start?

Perhaps the relationship problems, or a sense that he was pulling away, might've pre dated the depression?

I ask this because I had a similar experience, except in my then DP's case it was him not wanting to get married that brought things to a head, not discussing ttc.

If he had doubts it's good, in the long run, that he has told you rather than ttc.

Thank you for the reply. Yes I have been put onto Sertraline by my GP, have been on it for about 5 weeks now and had been feeling an improvement but then he left and now I feel back to square one. Seeing my doctor tomorrow so going to ask if I need to increase the dose. I do have family and friends but they all have their own lives too so I don't feel like I should bother them too much. Yes I think he has found my depression hard to deal with but tbh he's not said exactly that, he has probably been struggling too but I've been so wrapped up in my own issues I haven't noticed. I suggested counselling but he said only to unpick what went wrong, not to get back together 😢 I guess I just need to give it time but it's so hard it's all I can think about.

Dozer my depression started following a bereavement but I managed to kick it myself that time without medication, the latest bout started 12 months ago when I had major knee surgery then a fall which meant I was stuck indoors for 6 months

Let him go. He's probably got somewhere to go to already, they usually sort that out before they leave.

Put your effort into your own recovery.
Stop blaming yourself.

You need to unpick what went wrong before you can move on....he may think differently later on.
Yes, friends and family have their own lives but it doesn't mean they can't support you...please talk to them, I would hate to know that a friend couldn't speak to me because they thought I was too busy. A quick coffee or chat doesn't take too long.
Have you been offered counselling for the depression?

I did have a few counselling sessions, they were offered by my work as part of their health thing I suppose. I thini I need to call them and see if I can get some more sessions then look into relate too for both of us. I can't stop crying I don't know what to do.

If one of the reasons he left was due to pressure about having children, and pressure of your depression, it would be a mistake to talk to him at the moment. Just step back with no contact for the time being, and focus on getting your own wellbeing and health sorted first. Lean on family and friends a bit - I bet if they knew what you are going through they would be right there for you with support. A bit of space between you whilst you get yourself better will be a good thing, and during the breathing space, he may realise he wants to make another go at things.

Thanks for the reply live sorry my response is late! We spoke earlier and ended up having a huge row, he's now said he doesn't love me anymore so that's it. I have to accept we are over and start to move on with my life. Just so hard to think I have to start all over again, sell my beautiful house and rethink my whole future. At least I have my lovely dog though. I'm doing a little better now I think I needed the finality of it as I was just hanging onto hope he'd change his mind but I don't think he will now, he was so cold to me on the phone I was thinking who the hell is this it's not the person I married. Anyway onwards and upwards, hopefully one day I'll find happiness again, in the meantime I will work on getting myself better as I've hated myself for far too long now