Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage breakdown, please talk me through next steps

4 replies

Needtogetthisright · 07/05/2017 14:44

Hello, name changed for this I am afraid.
Basically I think my husband is going to tell me it's over this evening. I am not massively upset about this, I have been staying for DS who is 4.5. DH is emotionally abusive and very money orientated. He will not make this easy. He thinks it's 100% my fault and will accept no responsibility what so ever. Again I don't Particularly care that he thinks this. However I know he will want to keep the house. I would like it too, but it's not a priority. Money will be tight for me, he is self employed and earns approx £70k. But declares probably £25. He won't want to pay me maintenance, and he will fight me to the death for as Much access as possible. Basically I need help to handle things. Can't discuss calming as he just shouts and rants and I want to protect DS. I am hesitant to leave the house as he will then argue that he should keep DS and will move his parents in to do childcare. PIL is toxic and would love to take DS from me and hand over to MIL and put me out the picture. I want to limit DS time with the toxic family but also I have trust issues with DH re his levels of care towards DS. I rarely leave them alone together so i am worried about how to protect DS going forward. I am resigned that the minimum he will get is Every other weekend and half the holidays. But how do I ensure I get main residency. I work 20 hours a week over 3 days and can do all school drop offs and pick ups. Also how do I find out if I am entitled to any benefits? Thank you, sorry it so long 🙁

OP posts:
CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 07/05/2017 20:31

First, get yourself a shit hot lawyer.

Then look at entitledto.co.uk to find out what benefits you're entitled to!

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 07/05/2017 20:37

Scour your house for any paperwork you will need for your solicitor. Keep it safe and make an appointment tomo. . . Regardless if the conversation takes place tonight or not. .

Needtogetthisright · 07/05/2017 20:51

Thank you. Have done this and taken photos of his personal record of earrings. I have no idea if I will be able to use those as evidence of earning more. He is currently avoiding me, so potentially wimping out of conversation. I am going to prepare for the worst those. Just need to keep DS safe. Thank you all.

OP posts:
Needtogetthisright · 07/05/2017 20:53

Hmm according to entitledto.com if I rented a 2 bed house for going rate here after benefits and hopefully maintenance I will have about £120 a month left for emergencies after all bills and expenses... okay at least I am prepared...

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page