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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone give me an internet slap

13 replies

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 11:04

And remind me to be bloody grateful. Had a lovely birthday yesterday. Really the best one I've probably ever had. Got lovely presents and the sweetest card with handwritten words that made me cry.

Spent the day with my wonderful man and went out for dinner all dressed up with sexy lingerie on dropping hand grenades of hints (had a bath, mowed the lady garden etc 😜) all going well until he asks if we can postpone sexy time until after Match of the day.

I happily agree as I'm a football nut too but make a deal that we can stream some porn and give the memory foam bits of the sofa nightmares to remember enjoy each other. He agreed.

And then fell asleep.

I'm ashamed to say I threw a little weepy tantrum as it was my birthday and he'd gone out wearing the tightest pair of trousers he had (around the bum) and dear god I got the fanny gallops I really wanted him.

To be fair to DP I do have the higher sex drive but when I get it he is amazing and he had professed to being a little under the weather downstairs which I understood (hence the porn suggestion)

He has every right not to want sex and he's apologised and told me he loves me so I need a slap from someone to kick my own ass.

OP posts:
JK1773 · 07/05/2017 11:43

Sounds like you and your DP have a great relationship. So I'll give you a slap if you want Wink

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 11:45

Thank you

OP posts:
Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 07/05/2017 11:46

Make sure tonight is an extension of your birthday then!!
And keep it a 2 day celebration from now on just in case!!

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 11:48

Now THAT'S a thought!Wink

OP posts:
Joysmum · 07/05/2017 11:48

Make tonight 'Catch of the Day' night instead Grin

Paperdoll16 · 07/05/2017 11:50

What on earth does being poorly downstairs mean? I'm envisaging all sorts of unwell willies with worrying symptoms! 🙊

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 11:52

The thing I will always remember is being in that posh restaurant with both of us wanting to get his trousers off.

Only his reason was testicular torture as he was up and down like a yo-yo to readjust still amazed he wasn't arrested Grin

OP posts:
BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 11:54

Paper doll the trousers were crushing his nads

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 07/05/2017 12:29

Could you re-write this in English? Grin

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 12:50

And where would the fun in that be? 😂😂

OP posts:
Patchouli666 · 07/05/2017 14:24

Snatch of the Day tonight then?

Joysmum · 07/05/2017 14:26

Snatch of the Day tonight then?

Grin I wish I'd though of that, I went for a cleaner version and regret it Grin

BrevilleTron · 07/05/2017 15:03

That is brilliant. I'll tackle him later about his ball control skills. 😜

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