Lock on his phone?

[ParanoidPrude]

I've nc for this, but I can imagine there must be loads of threads on this.

My OH has a smart phone that you can unlock with your finger print.
He used to tell me it was because the guys he works with will play pranks on each other's phones etc and hed rather not.
Then he moved jobs where his phone has to stay in a locker. He then told me he couldn't remove the finger print scanner because he forgot the back up password to remove it.
Fast forward a few months, he drops his phone and cracks the screen. His finger print scanner is no longer working. So he's reverted to the keypad lock instead now.

He will NEVER leave him phone alone, if he goes to the bathroom for a wee and leaves his phone, he'll come straight back down for it. I've never seen his phone unguarded.

He's really not the type to cheat, but I do feel something isn't right.

He bought me cigarettes on his way home from work but there were 2 missing (he doesn't smoke menthol) and I asked where they went and he quickly replied 'oh sorry.' And changed the subject. I asked again where they went asked nd he fumbled askedndnd said he had to give a work friend 2 (bearing in mind he bought my cigarettes on his way home from work)

He's getting more suspicious by the day....

Should I check his phone?

I'm a bit on the fence with this!
It's perfectly normal to have a lock on your phone and honestly I'm a little precious over my phone. Nothing untoward on it, but some stuff are personal and I wouldn't want my boyfriend reading some of my messages to friends and stuff.

I've always said, if I get to the point I'm demanding to look at his phone or him mine. Then the relationship is done anyway.

That said, I had a issue where someone messaged me accusing him of something and when I spoke to him, he handed his phone straight over (I didn't ask for it) and I did check it.
It felt wrong though like someone above said it was like reading his diary or something.

Due to his past messaging I'd maybe be inclined to ask him to hand his phone over as he's acting suspiciously, see what response you get to that.

I have a lock on my phone - fingerprint and passcode.

I'm on the fence because when me and boyfriendypartner started going out I didnt know him that well and I didn't like him in my phone - it was private and personal and none of a casual partner's business.

Now, he can take it and use it if he likes (eg last night his battery was dead he wanted to google something) but that's because we are longer together and I don't mind.

If I minded, I wouldn't let him.

but you're clearly suspicious so talk to him.

It doesn't sound good OP. If he's not actually cheating then it's likely he's using or watching something, a lot, that he knows isn't ok in a relationship.

DH and I have the same passcode as there are odd occasions where we use each other's phones (looking at/ emailing photos of DC, checking maps when driving spring to mind) but we don't go checking each other's messages.

Your gut is usually right. It's not normal to be quite so possessive of a phone. Mine is mostly with me but I don't think twice about leaving it lying around the house with my family, DH is the same. You need to either talk to him or do some digging.

He never used to seem worried about leaving his phone around when his fingerprint lock was on his phone. Because obviously we don't have the same fingerprint. But I think he's worried that I know his pass code (I do know it, I've watched him type it in a few times, just never had the opportunity to use it)
I know if I randomly asked to use his phone for something he'd be suspicious, I don't think I've ever done that. I have my own phone lol.

And I know that phones are private, I wouldn't feel totally comfortable him looking through mine. I'm not hiding anything obv, but I'm on mumsnet complaining about him... I've text my best friend about him being a douche a couple of times...

I've never not trusted him. And I don't think he's cheated. I'm not the jealous or paranoid type at all, but his behaviour with his phone is just really off. Like he's desperately trying to hide something.

When he got up this morning he seemed off with me and when I asked him what's wrong he said 'oh nothing I need to snap out of it.' Don't know if that's because I moved his phone?

I wish he'd just forget his phone one day! 😂

I've never looked at dh's phone or felt the need to. If I asked him to show me he would be curious why on earth I would want to and would be shocked if I said I wanted to check up on him. I would never sneak a look behind is back.

If I felt I had to check up on him I would need to have a serious think why I felt that way and solve the root cause (whether it was his behaviour or mine), which would have nothing to do with phones.

You say you've never not trusted him but it's clear you don't trust him. Sorry to say it, but if you suspect something's going on, then there's a high likelihood that it is. You need to decide now if you confront him about it or if you try to gather up some evidence first. But be prepared to get an answer that you're not going to like. And it sounds like he's possibly done something like this before, I don't really buy that story he told you about the previous woman.

Ok the best thing you can do is back off and observe. If he knows your onto him he'll get extra cautious and then it's much harder to dig.. guaranteed if he thinks you're onto him he'll have changed his passcode...

Check pockets/work bag/gym bag/car for clues. Remember any change in behaviour is a red flag especially as he has history for texting another woman. He's done it before and got away with it.

I'm reluctant to let DH poke around on my phone. I'm not cheating. He is the sort who has opinions about the best way to do everything. I'm not interested in hearing from him about how I should manage my email or voicemail. I've found a way that works for me, and I'm not interested in improving it. I don't want to argue with him about it. There are reasons other than cheating why your DP might not want you looking at their phone, is all I'm saying here.