Separating with very young children

[lifechangingtime]

I'm just after other people's experiences of separating with very young children. It has been a while coming, but tonight dh and I sat down and discussed our marriage. We both see that it's coming to an end, and we can both see that we'd be better apart. We talked very calmly, both said we 100% respected the other and would do our upmost to keep things as well as we could for our children.

We have 2 children. One is 4, the other is only a few months old. The thought of being apart from either breaks my heart, obviously, but I'm yet to leave the baby for longer than a few hours. How have you dealt with this? I'm bottle feeding, not breast. I'm still on maternity leave. Dh is a brilliant father, and the last thing I'd do is stand in his way at all, but it's so difficult.

I think what I'm asking is, what arrangements have you had in place for the father spending time with the children when they (particularly the baby) are so young?

You both agree on a weekly basis what day and how many hours he should have little ones then gradually special occasion sharing such as Christmas birthday easter

Depends on where he is and what he can accommodate and how much he wants - is it 50/50 for the older one? If one is almost at school now could be a good time to get them use to different nights in a different place?

You are going to have to work on access to the baby in terms of him coming over and doing things like bath times, feeding and even talking them both for a morning at weekends.

Initially he will be staying with his parents, which is not too far away. My elsest is already at school. I think my elsest would be fine staying over there. My mil has looked after eldest 1 day a week since my maternity ended. He is very comfortable over there.

My mil will also be looking after the baby one day per week once I go back to work. I don't think that will change. I really think (though I know there will be ups and downs) that we can work together through this.

When is it the norm for a baby to be away from mum overnight? I know it depends on the people. I think he would expect an overnight straight away, I'm unsure as the baby is only 5 months and I'm still on maternity.