Is this kind of loneliness/sadness within normal range?

[WhereAreMyTesticlesSummer]

Separated from ex-DP 2 years ago. Am currently living with him (and our DC) temporarily while my house purchase goes through and that is probably affecting how I feel. We're getting on great in a cosy domestic way (watching Masterchef, cooking nice meals, taking the DC out and about etc) but obviously minus the intimacy/closeness of a relationship.

I'm SO bloody envious of people who are happily in love. I don't feel bitter or angry, just sad at what I've lost and resigned to never having it again. I've cried at people excitedly buying houses together on Location x3 and looking forward to their shared futures . Have cried at stupid Instagram posts of loved up acquaintances.

I was seeing someone but I ended it a few months ago as it had run it's course plus he wanted us to meet each others DC etc and I am not interested in that right now (and possibly never will be).

Is what I'm feeling normal? I don't want to get back with my ex (god knows living with him has reminded me of some of his less attractive habits) and I don't want to date but I really miss being with someone, having that one person who has your back and who you can come home to. I feel ancient (37 next week) and thoroughly spinsterly.

Eurgh.

Why are you so anti-meeting someone else's DC and vice versa?

It's going to be very hard to form a long term relationship with someone if you won't take that next step...

Youre grieving for what you relationship could have been. Wait til youre in your new home.. things will feel really different. Im 36 next week, single, and happy, i think when youre away from your old situation and you have your fresh start you will feel differently. Hang on in there

Thanks both.

Shayelle I think you're right. My life is in a weird, temporary place at the minute and my feelings are all over the shop.

stumbly I just don't have any interest in my kids meeting someone I'm dating. I don't plan to live with a partner again until my DC have grown up and moved out if at all so there's really no reason they should have to meet a casual boyfriend.

I went through a similar, painful situation in the last year. I know how all at sea you must be feeling. Its a horrible feeling but i promise you it passes. In a few months time when youre settled in your new home, youll start feeling in a much better place and its a great feeling!!

Getting divorced is shit but remember dc seeing you in a normal happy relationship -
somewhere down the line- is a good example to them of how to form healthy relationships. And seeing you happy will be important to them too.

Having them as a sole focus can be unhealthy at times.

Good luck in your new home.

Also... ive stayed single since i left mine. Havent wanted to meet anyone else, just wanyed to spend time with friends, and on my own. I can well recommend it if you wish to feel better

no, your DC shouldn't have to meet a casual boyfriend, but it sounds like you don't want a casual BF - you want to be 'blissfully in love' and are envious of couples planning a future together, so that logic is strange!