How do you all do it?

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Hi everyone,

Going through a really messy break up with exdp. We were together 6 years and have a 2yo DS together.

He is working and living with some not very nice people who have caused lots of problems for us financially in the past. Exdp became a gambler and pawned my things etc so we broke up due to break down in trust etc.

Due to all of this I'm really struggling to trust him elsewhere now however I have never stopped him seeing DS although at present he is not allowed him over night due to where he is sleeping.. Currently a sofa at a friend's.

Anyway, what I want to ask is what are your arrangements for DCs to see their dad?

He currently comes Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Both morning and evening but im wondering what to do moving forward. Also how do you work special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas?

I can't imagine not having my DS with me all day :(

Any advice much appreciated!

Well my ex sees the kids Saturday afternoon only! His choice
Birthdays he's not bothered by at all he might call and /or might take them out on the next Saturday or he might not if he can't be bothered
At Christmas he has them Christmas Day and I do Boxing Day.
I figured it's only one day and they do need to see their other family members
I do a big family Boxing Day get together
I have no expectations of him suddenly becoming super dad -never tell the kids what's happening unless is actually is going to happen it saves the disappointment

Thanks for that. I'm slowly figuring out not to tell DS anything as he's been let down a few times already. Christmas is such a big thing in both families it's gonna be difficult. Forgot to mention exdp will at some point be moving home to Scotland, a 3 hour drive from us :(

Might be easier if he's three hours drive away. Your dc will get 'blocks' of time with dad rather than odd days/hours
You have to negotiate Christmas so it's fair Maybe alternate Christmas with new year swapping each year - whatever works best for you but making the most when it's your 'turn'

Yes I do agree blocks of time will be much better for DS.