Telling your partner how much you earn

[user1494029587]

Me and my partner have been dating about a year. He knows how much I earn and how many savings I have and I know his. He knows I have a lot of savings, and recently I have lost my job and not been working, however my savings are keeping me going. He is currently working, with barely any savings, and earns a lot more than I did when I was working. Here is my question: Who pays for dates when one is not working but the other is? I feel like the fact that he knows I have a lot of savings he expects me to pay for a lot of things for us, more than he would pay. But I think that is unfair. He wanted to go on a vacation this year and kept saying about it all the time, and I said as much as I'd love a vacation I don't want to go anywhere until I find another job and I'm stable with money. He would make remarks that I don't need a job anyway and pressuring me to go on vacation with him, even though I said I don't want to cos of the money. Do you think he should have paid for it?

I think you have to cut your cloth to suit your mutual means - so your social life, vacations etc. need to be on a modest scale until you find another job. Eating into your savings is a bad idea if you're reliant on them for day-to-day expenses between jobs.

If he's insistent on a vacation, absolutely he should be the one to pay while you're not working - but I'd worry that there's a mismatch in your attitudes to money which doesn't bode well for the longer term - you sound much more prudent and mature than he is - I think you need to find a way to agree on your overall financial approaches.

I think when you tell him how you feel and what you are and are not willing to do he should listen.

If he wants the holiday he pays for it. I assume your savings are a large amount but they will deplete quickly if you aren't careful. My dad was foolish about this when my parents got money from the sale of his mother's house after she died. He didn't work for ages and they wasted the money on bills and stuff rather than getting nice things for themselves or having a holiday. Be wary of him too my dad now still barely works and my mum works full time to keep the house bills paid because he won't bother. One of the reasons I get angry with him a lot. He may try to end up relying on you for money and not bother working.

You don't do things you can't afford. He should be told that until you are in a position to do more you are living within your means.

Any time he makes a costly suggestion your answer is 'I can't afford to' at which pony he is free to offer to treat you.

If he tries to guilt trip you, put you down, or manipulate you into living beyond your means then that's not someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with.

If he earns a lot more than you do/did, and he still has no savings, where you managed to amass a nice comfortable cushion, it says a lot for mismatched values. Doesn't bode well, IMHO.