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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Has he cheated again? Advice needed!

37 replies

AngelFleming123 · 05/05/2017 17:26

I've been with my partner just over a year, I found out I was pregnant in November and at the same time I found out my partner had cheated on me a month before, we agreed to work things out for the sake of the baby however today I found a used condom rapper in our bedroom, we don't use them anymore due to not needing to and I know for a fact that it couldn't have been there from when we did as I have completely blitzed our flat for the arrival of our baby in august. I confronted him and he said I was over reacting and he hasn't done anything, he said it could have come from anywhere. What do I do?
Any advice will be grately appreciated

OP posts:

Ikillallplants · 05/05/2017 19:00

I'm a totally non huggy person but wish I could give you a big cuddle right now. You are so young to be going through this, especially with no family support.

You need to concentrate on building up a support network of friends, people you can rely on. You can build your own family of friends who love you.

Is he cheating? To be honest it doesn't sound good. Even if he isn't now it is likely to happen again. He doesn't sound ready to settle down to family life. Continue to hope that it does last if that is what you want but start planning for a life on your own as well. If nothing else it will make you less reliant on him which will make you a stronger and happier person.

gunnergirl · 05/05/2017 19:31

I used to go clubs till 6 then after parties after often home the next afternoon so he could be out at clubs all night

Beelzebop · 05/05/2017 19:47

Hi OP, he could theoretically be out at a club all night, but he shouldn't want to. He should want to spend time with you. Be wary xxx.

AlwaysCcakeTime · 05/05/2017 20:00

Oh Sweetheart

Trust yourself, if you had any doubts you wouldn't have posted.

Are you still under 18? Can Social Services help? Are there any young Mums groups in your area?

It is very rare for a cheater to change, there are the odd few, but. . . .

Do you want your baby to be in a home where Daddy goes out all night and Mummy is tired, stressed and sad?

Put yourself and your baby first

category12 · 05/05/2017 20:00

I just think it's extraordinary that so many are trying to find rationales for his behaviour. Someone who already cheated on the OP.

Original poster

AngelFleming123 · 05/05/2017 20:01

Thanks guys I think reading all of these it's made me realise that this isn't the type of relationship I want to bring my baby up with, regardless if he is or isn't cheating it doesn't change the fact that he already has and I can't trust him, me and my baby will be fine by ourselves all this stress isn't good for either of us and as a mother I need to do what's best for us both

OP posts:

BorisJohnsonsHair · 05/05/2017 20:10

Angel whereabouts in the country are you? I'm sure there are other Mumsnetters nearby who could offer you some support and help before and when your baby arrives. We're a friendly lot really . Also, it's a good idea to go to ante natal classes and to baby groups afterwards as you'll be sure to make friends there and you can support each other.

HeavenlyEyes · 05/05/2017 20:12

You are younger than my own daughter op. If I were nearby I would be very happy to offer support too. This man is not good enough for you or your precious baby. I am very sure of that. I agree about ante natal and baby groups - you will certainly meet others and form friendships which will be invaluable.

Want2beme · 05/05/2017 20:25

So sorry this is happening to you. You really need support now. Would you consider seeing your GP and ask if there's any support groups they can recommend for you. Gingerbread is one I know of. Take care and do what's best for you and your baby. Congratulations, you sound lovely and will be a great mum.

roarityroar · 05/05/2017 20:26

He's cheated once, he will cheat again. He probably has now.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 05/05/2017 20:26

I confronted him and he said I was over reacting and he hasn't done anything, he said it could have come from anywhere

If you found a condom wrapper in your bedroom, and you are certain you had cleaned the house and you hadn't brought the condom wrapper into the room- it can't have "come from anywhere" unless your bedroom has lots of other people in there, who carry condom wrappers?

If you confronted him and he were innocent, surely he would go batshit and wonder where the fuck the condom wrapper actually did appear from?

roarityroar · 05/05/2017 20:26

I hope you have support and love around you

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