Have I done the right thing?

[fellingdowntoday]

Me and OH separated last night I'm in cloud cooko land today at work.

Things haven't been right for months and he's been pushing me away. Looking for any excuse to have a go, my job being a priority, my weight, me being selfish etc. We have zero sex life and when I asked him what he wanted I asked him to leave.

I have 4 dd's and only the youngest is his. I'm so down and trying my best to get through the day.

We have been in touch a little during today. I guess you say we are on a break. How long do I give him to sort his head out?

He has a go at you for your weight? nuff said. I wouldn't let him come back

What do you want to do?

There's really not enough information to know what has been going on in your relationship, although the fact that he has been looking for excuses to row with you doesn't look very good at all.

What would you like it to happen?

I don't know! I felt a little relived when he left if I'm being totally honest.
The weight thing was totally uncalled for, he's since taken it back saying it's all him and I deserve better. He needs some space.

I would love some time to myself but with a full time job and 4 kids there's no chance. He's the type to get dragged down by stuff and I'm not so maybe don't understand his feelings. I think he gave up months ago!

He also kicked off as I went out with my 2 directors the other Night for dinner and didn't text him (I did he just didn't see it!)

I think you should leave him to stew think things over for some time.

Just continue with your own life as normally as possible. Find help for yourself. The fact that he has left home doesn't relieve him from his obligations as the father of his child. Again, get help and take care of your own wellbeing. This is important.

When he decides to come back (and I bet he will), I think you should listen to what he has to say and then decide on the basis of what YOU feel and what YOU want to do.

He wants to think things over, fine. It's also an opportunity for you to think about what YOU want and need.

Thanks DistanceCall, that is very good advice.

I have a friend wanting to come over and support me tonight, not sure i really feel up to it but will see how I feel once I get home from work. He has already offered to have his DD tomorrow night as I was supposed to be going out (been planned for weeks) again not sure I should go. Not sure I would be much fun, just been trying to get through the day!

How long have you been together? Has he previously been positive? If it's a blip in an otherwise good long term relationship it's perhaps more understandable.

Do you know where he is going? If its a trial separation it's worth establishing some rules such as contact with children and each other, dating other people, finances, access to the house, whether or not you will meet up for dates or counselling after a period of time etc.

Do you want it to work long term?

He criticised your weight, deal breaker for me, no man would get away with that and I'd not be in a hurry having him back, he sounds horrible.

And go out OP!

I'm deffo going out now!

We have been tougher 4.5 years and he's gone to stay at his mums. It's supposed to be a trail, have no intention/desire to see anybody else. But I'm suspicious he could be having an emotional affair with one of my "friends" friends DD had told my DD at school that they're always on the phone and when he's on the phone to her mum she goes upstairs. Wtf do I do now? I'm raging

felling, I think you need some space and time yourself. The worst thing you can do, whether he has been having an emotional affair or not, is to go after him.

Leave him to his own devices, and do not communicate except to make arrangements regarding your child. Wait, and meanwhile indulge youself and be kind to yourself. If you are angry, bear in mind that this is the most unnerving thing you can do, and he will show his true colours - whether this is a glitch in a relationship which can be salvaged or not - pretty soon.

Again, take care of yourself and ask for help. I think you should definitely go out and leave your daughter with him. It will be good for you to get out, and you will be sending a message indirectly.

He's been sleeping with ny best friend for 6 months

What a wanker.

Let him go.
You deserve better than that.

I'm absolutely raging no way I'm having him beck now and she hasn't got the decency to even say sorry

How and when did you find that out?

How awful for you.

Ouf.

So so sorry, felling. But at least you know where you stand now.

How are you today OP?

OMG OP.
I was going to say from your posts there was probably OW.
But your friend!!!
They are the fucking lowest of the low.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
What an absolute wanker!

Get practical now then.
Maintenance calculator, etc.....

Will you be financially OK without him?