Do I still love ex by even though I'm married?

[flowerchildfudge]

Hi mommys! Please no judgement. I really need someone to listen and give me advice. My ex bf from nearly 10 years ago contacted me. He was my first love. He contacts me off and on through out the years. It started after I got married and then I dont hear from him in 2-3 years. He broke up with me and when he contacts me now I am always brief and cold with him. I got married 2 years after we broke up as i meet my hubby who is an amazing guy and things moved fast. Everytime my ex contacts me I tell him I cannt be friends since I am married and then he disappears. It really hurt me when we broke up and he broke up with me because I wanted marriage and he wasn't ready for it and wasn't sure if I was the one. last week he contacted me through email asking how me and the family are. It has really messed with my head as everytime he contacts me I cannt stop thinking about him and it brings back memories. I love my husband who's an amazing guy so I'm really confused. I have changed me phone number and blocked him on email but why am I feeling like this?

He's fishing, don't bite as he's a loser for fishing and a player. You feel like you do because of happy memories that's all though, they are memories and nothing more.

You're one of his ego boosts. Nothing more than that. Don't fall for it.
Do you think in hindsight you got married too quick? With your OP, you said it moved quickly? Is this the root cause of the problem?

A guy never leaves a woman he truly loves. This coming from me, a guy.
He didn't love you, otherwise he would have stayed with you. Simple.
Now, you're happy, moved on with someone new.
Memories of past relationships are skewed. You don't remember all the rubbish with this guy for starts, and second you also miss being young with him. It was a different time of your life.
As the others say, he's fishing. He'll do with to other ex's he has. Don't think you're special to him as if you were he'd never have let you go.

What you need to do, and I can't stress this more, is tell him you never want to hear from him again. Otherwise you'll get this until you stupidly bite his bait or he finds someone new.

Tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone. He doesn't see you as any more than something to pass the time, that's why his contacts are so far apart.

He texts to see if you're available and when you aren't he waits for another time. He does this every few months to see if you'll bite.

There is no happy ending with this ex, at all. We all have fond memories of first loves, but that's all they are.

Flower, please don't do it. I had a similar situation (my ex came back after 23 years) and I let him back into my life. I thought this time is different, we will be together forever.

After he got what he wanted he wasn't interested any more.

As a pp said, if a man loves you, he will never, ever let you go.

And the saddest thing is, I used to have wonderful memories of the past. After the way he treated me recently, they are now tainted, gone.

You have idealised him, he is not perfect, he is not the one who got away. If he was meant to be your life partner he would have been.

If I were you, I wouldn't follow this advice. But once the inevitable fallout happens (and it is worse for you as I am not married), you will simply think "how could I have been so stupid?"

So please be strong and tell him not to contact you ever again.

He likes the chase. You are a challenge to him. Block and ignore.

I should mention that we did talk before I deleted him. He told me that he had wanted to give us a 2nd chance after the break up and had tried to contact me but wasn't sure how I would react so never did. I don't know why he is telling me this now. He is still single and I am happy in life and with my hubby but this has planted a seed of what if in my head. I told him that he shouldn't contact me again as there still feelings there for me and it's inappropriate. I hope I did the right thing by cutting him off. Thank you guys! You are right, it's really messed with my head and I cannt get him out of my thoughts now. My husband is a really amazing guy an so don't want to screw up my marriage.

Thank you ivykaty! You are probably 100% right!

It's nice to get a guys perspective myusernameisinvalid!

I'm so sorry you got hurt by him again heartbroken40! Its his loss. I really hope you can let him go and find a guy that will treat you like a queen.