Why will this man only tell me what how he really feels about me when drinking?

[Faye2611]

I've been kind of seeing this man that says he likes me and wants more to happen, but will only say this when he has had a drink. Is this normal for a man? Why won't he tell me while soba? I'm kind of confused about it

Your inhibitions go when drunk.
Two things can happen in this scenario.

1. He tells you he loves you or whatever when a bit drunk because it's given him courage to say it and thats let him contact you when sobered up and ask you on a date as the hard bits done.

Or

1. He's tanked up feeling the drunk love but that's it.

If it's number 2 run away. Don't hold onto false hope. It's not going to happen. If he is doing the drunk love thing unfortunately he doesn't love you. He's just being a drunk prat.

He doesn't say he loves me, just that I look good, he likes me and wants stuff to happen between us.

Dear God he's drunk not having a relevation you deserve way better fuck him off pronto and find someone who likes you when they are sober.

No its not normal for a man. Is the man as well ever properly sober?.

I have to look at you in all this as well; why is your relationship bar so very low here?. Why are you allowing yourself to be used so by this person who is truly not worth any of your time?. He is not your project to work on.

You and he should not be together frankly. He will just drag your self esteem and worth down even lower.

I'm afraid I would tend to think that when he's drunk, he's more horny.

I wouldn't necessarily stop seeing him immediately or anything but I wouldn't include him in any significant plans.

He sounds like he has a drinking problem if he's behaving like this and is a fully grown adult.

He doesn't drink that often, just occasionally so yes, he is sober most of the time.

I wouldn't say that I am letting him use me as I haven't let anything happen between us yet.

He sounds immature at best then. Sorry.

My daughter's "boyfriend" does this. Only claims to love her whilst drunk. He doesn't mean it (honestly, he could be a signalman for all the red flags he's waving!), demeans her whilst sober (which he is the vast majority of the time) and made her feel so worthless that she's attempted suicide three times and self-harmed more times than a mother wishes to count, in the last 12 months. Within days of them "getting together", he told her that he didn't trust her... and last week she told me that his friends and family don't even know she exists/is his "girlfriend".

So I will say to you, what I have said to her - You are worth better and far more than this tosser will ever be able to give you!

Don't get involved with him. Honestly, he's not worth your time, effort, headspace!

Ask him !

My late-DH used to show me and tell me he loved me all the time.
When he wasn't sober his expression of his feelings to me were magnified (before he fell asleep).
BUT I was left in no doubt of his feelings on a day to day basis when he was sober.

I'd want someone to be showing me they cared and saying those things when they were sober.

God. I fell for this shit for about 6 months when I was 19. And I was convinced I loved him. I filled in all the blanks for him in my mind so he didn't even have to try.

I was furious with myself when I pulled my head out of my ass. Such is life.

Suck it up. Move on.

You should be asking him this question. If you can't have a mature conversation you should end it now.

I know you guys are probably right and I wish I could just forget about him, but at the moment I can't.

He is lovely to me when he is sober too and he flirts with me when he is sober, not just when he has been drinking. He just seems to open up more when he has had a drink.

I'm posting on here so that I don't say anything to him that I will regret later and make a fool of myself.

Faye when you say you're "kind of seeing this man" could you elaborate? What does "kind of seeing" mean? How long have you known him?