Have you raised an issue that happened a long time ago but wasnt mentioned at the time?

[malificent7]

About 6 months ago dp and i went out clubbing and he was gawping at a girl for a good few minutes.
I didnt say anything at the time but it pissed me off. He hasnt done it since and in all other respects hes great. But it bothers me. I have pmt and im fixated on it.

It is too late to mention it now but how do i deal with something i should have pulled him up on at the time? Trust him though.

Let it go. If you bring up something so trivial now, 6 months on (he probably won't even remember it) then you will sound a bit mental

I'm in total agreement with mo55chop5

Yes... i know im mental but i get dreadful pmt when all my stuff comes up in a big hormonal mess!

Is gawping trivial though? I yend to let things lie then feel annoyed much later?!

Delayed reaction somewhat!!

If DH raises a complaint from 6 months ago that he hadn't deemed important enough to comment on at the time (and it hadn't happened again in the intervening time) I'd think he was spoiling for an argument and couldn't think of anything else.

I think 6 months is far too long to mention something like that.

I wouldn't like it if I noticed my DH gawping at a woman but I'd either say something at the time or the next day.

If the roles were reversed and DH mentioned something like that 6 months later I'd think he was looking for reasons to fight. I may or may not think he was making it up as well if I didn't remember doing it.

It was 6 months ago and really,a very minor issue.

Let it go. I was expecting it to be about a serious incident of some kind.

Was there a particular reason he was gawping at this woman in particular? If she was his first love and he still calls her name in his sleep, I can see why you'd be dwelling on it. Is it to do with your self esteem? Was her body type one you'd aspire to, or think he'd prefer? Was she very confident? Just wondering, because it feels like there's underlying reasons this still plays on your mind...

Agree with previous posters. If he hasn't done it since then, I'd get over it and move on.

It was months ago. He most likely can't even remember looking at her so will think you're so desperate for a fight that you're making stuff up (because otherwise you would have mentioned it at the time!!!).

Regarding looking at someone. We all do it without necessarily realising and it doesn't mean anything. Whether he was looking at her because she was particularly attractive or reminded him of someone, who knows... You won't now because you never asked at the time.

If it was one thing in a list which continued up to the present time fair enough, but surely it's you remembering and dwelling on it which has made it such a big thing now. If you found it so offensive at the time I don't know why you wouldn't have mentioned it sooner.

Agree digging up stuff you couldn't be bothered to mention at the time just sounds like you're looking for an excuse for a fight. Just make a mental note to yourself to say something in future and stop obsessing on it. He'll probably never see her again, it's not like he was staring at someone he works with where there's affair potential.

Hi there
I do agree with you all. There are some underlying reasons.... firstly, im not feeling very confident at the moment. Dp is very reassuring and lovely to me but i feel crap.

Secondly, i regret not saying something at the time about how upsetting i found it. I would have got it out of my system by now.

Its not that i couldnt be bothered to mention it.... it's just i wanted to be the cool girlfriend and not be paranoid etc.

I did this. It didn't go down well. I wouldn't bother in future!!

Don't mention it now. It's probably just because you're not confident right now and making a bigger thing of it. If you didn't want to look paranoid then, what do you think you'll look like this far down the line?